Comments on: The Wait http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/the-wait/ How can we live without the unknown before us? —Rene Char Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:49:40 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Dave http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/the-wait/#comment-2570 Dave Sun, 12 Nov 2006 15:00:17 +0000 http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/10/the-wait/#comment-2570 Thanks for the additional feedback. Q.R.R. and Brett both make very interesting points. <blockquote> Hunger is eating them.</blockquote> Yes. I woke up this morning around 5:00 thinking, "The sworn enemy <i>of time</i> continues to tick"! So on third thought . . . Don't worry, Teju, I haven't surrendened any of my sovereignty as a creator to the democratic process. But getting readers' reactions to early drafts gives me an invaluable sense of distance from my own words. More than that, it's just a fun conversation. I'm flattered that a few half-baked lines should have elicited so many thoughtful comments. Thanks for the additional feedback. Q.R.R. and Brett both make very interesting points.

Hunger is eating them.

Yes.

I woke up this morning around 5:00 thinking, “The sworn enemy of time continues to tick”! So on third thought . . .

Don’t worry, Teju, I haven’t surrendened any of my sovereignty as a creator to the democratic process. But getting readers’ reactions to early drafts gives me an invaluable sense of distance from my own words. More than that, it’s just a fun conversation. I’m flattered that a few half-baked lines should have elicited so many thoughtful comments.

]]> By: Teju http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/the-wait/#comment-2569 Teju Sun, 12 Nov 2006 13:16:56 +0000 http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/10/the-wait/#comment-2569 Good, strong images. Almost every line could be the beginning for another poem. I liked the first ending better, but what I like even more is the poet's right to do whatever the hell he likes. Good, strong images. Almost every line could be the beginning for another poem.

I liked the first ending better, but what I like even more is the poet’s right to do whatever the hell he likes.

]]> By: Brett http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/the-wait/#comment-2568 Brett Sun, 12 Nov 2006 04:08:08 +0000 http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/10/the-wait/#comment-2568 Maybe this poem is eliciting such confusion because you have taken a pretty simple act--waiting for food--and turned it upside down and crossways. I mean, waiting for the bread and the cup, the body and the blood (and all that it is?) is clearly waiting for food. But the suggested comparison with the spider mother leads me to think about whose child is being eaten in the host. Once the spider mother eats her children, she is reduced to waiting for another meal. She can catch other prey, or she can conceive and birth more little snacks. Once the bagladies eat the host, the child of God, what do they wait for then? And who's doing the eating. The spider eats her own children. In the Eucharist, Christ offers himself as food for the patient faithful. Yikes, my head is swimming here. (I liked the first ending better.) Maybe this poem is eliciting such confusion because you have taken a pretty simple act–waiting for food–and turned it upside down and crossways. I mean, waiting for the bread and the cup, the body and the blood (and all that it is?) is clearly waiting for food. But the suggested comparison with the spider mother leads me to think about whose child is being eaten in the host. Once the spider mother eats her children, she is reduced to waiting for another meal. She can catch other prey, or she can conceive and birth more little snacks. Once the bagladies eat the host, the child of God, what do they wait for then? And who’s doing the eating. The spider eats her own children. In the Eucharist, Christ offers himself as food for the patient faithful. Yikes, my head is swimming here.

(I liked the first ending better.)

]]> By: quiet regular reader http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/the-wait/#comment-2567 quiet regular reader Sat, 11 Nov 2006 23:03:43 +0000 http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/10/the-wait/#comment-2567 Seems to me the women care more about the rest of this day, not much about eternity. Hunger is eating them. Time is on their side. Misery loves the clock God speed the end. Seems to me the women care more about the rest of this day, not much about eternity. Hunger is eating them. Time is on their side. Misery loves the clock God speed the end.

]]> By: Dave http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/the-wait/#comment-2566 Dave Sat, 11 Nov 2006 21:01:35 +0000 http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/10/the-wait/#comment-2566 O.K., I re-did the ending to bring it more in line with my original idea -- kind of a Charles Simic-esque vibe -- and added a couple lines earlier in the poem, too. Here's the original version of the poem, which all the commenters up until now have been reacting to: <blockquote> The priest performs his sleight-of-hand to a nearly empty cathedral: two women sit in a back pew, flanked by three black garbage bags containing their worldly possessions. <em>--What's he saying? --It doesn't matter. Wait. There will be free samples at the end.</em> Under the pew, safe from the janitor's mop, the house spider has eaten all her children. The sworn enemy of eternity continues to tick. </blockquote> O.K., I re-did the ending to bring it more in line with my original idea — kind of a Charles Simic-esque vibe — and added a couple lines earlier in the poem, too.

Here’s the original version of the poem, which all the commenters up until now have been reacting to:

The priest performs his sleight-of-hand
to a nearly empty cathedral: two women
sit in a back pew, flanked
by three black garbage bags
containing their worldly possessions.
–What’s he saying?
–It doesn’t matter. Wait.
There will be free samples at the end.
Under the pew, safe from the janitor’s mop,
the house spider has eaten all her children.
The sworn enemy of eternity continues to tick.

]]> By: Joan http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/the-wait/#comment-2565 Joan Sat, 11 Nov 2006 20:22:27 +0000 http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/10/the-wait/#comment-2565 Your ending is just fine, Dave. It's our own endings that I'm worried about. (grin) Your ending is just fine, Dave. It’s our own endings that I’m worried about. (grin)

]]> By: Dave http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/the-wait/#comment-2564 Dave Sat, 11 Nov 2006 19:58:53 +0000 http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/10/the-wait/#comment-2564 And meanwhile the poet sits staring at the unstained glass of his computer monitor, unable to think of a viable alternative ending... The clock is on the back wall of the sacristy, I think. And meanwhile the poet sits staring at the unstained glass of his computer monitor, unable to think of a viable alternative ending…

The clock is on the back wall of the sacristy, I think.

]]> By: Joan http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/the-wait/#comment-2563 Joan Sat, 11 Nov 2006 19:28:38 +0000 http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/10/the-wait/#comment-2563 Wow! This is true, Dave. Everyone in "Comments" is writing the Cliff Notes. (grin) Now Fred's interpretation is just stunning. The religious are truly those people who are used to dealing with the transcendent and with symbolism (and maybe transubstantiation) But my semi secularist sad take is how little we are connected with that. The ladies are ignoring the sermon, taking a load off their feet and waiting for "real" food. The priest is waiting for the ladies to pay attention and be saved at least for the time being by taking the spiritual food, and the spider isn't waiting at all. She is doing what spiders do, living in the moment and for herself. All are equally vulnerable to time. The spider, who has no concept of time will be the first to go. (And although some might hope there must surely be pets in heaven, I am hoping the spider is not one of them. ) And then of course the question would be where are we all going? Spider dust to dust? Tick tick tick. Wow!

This is true, Dave. Everyone in “Comments” is writing the Cliff Notes. (grin)

Now Fred’s interpretation is just stunning. The religious are truly those people who are used to dealing with the transcendent and with symbolism (and maybe transubstantiation)

But my semi secularist sad take is how little we are connected with that. The ladies are ignoring the sermon, taking a load off their feet and waiting for “real” food. The priest is waiting for the ladies to pay attention and be saved at least for the time being by taking the spiritual food, and the spider isn’t waiting at all. She is doing what spiders do, living in the moment and for herself. All are equally vulnerable to time. The spider, who has no concept of time will be the first to go. (And although some might hope there must surely be pets in heaven, I am hoping the spider is not one of them. )

And then of course the question would be where are we all going? Spider dust to dust?

Tick tick tick.

]]> By: bev http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/the-wait/#comment-2562 bev Sat, 11 Nov 2006 19:26:35 +0000 http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/10/the-wait/#comment-2562 <i>Under the pew, safe from the janitor's mop, the house spider has eaten all her children.</i> what a terrific line! Under the pew, safe from the janitor’s mop,
the house spider has eaten all her children.

what a terrific line!

]]> By: Dave http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/the-wait/#comment-2561 Dave Sat, 11 Nov 2006 16:45:42 +0000 http://www.vianegativa.us/2006/11/10/the-wait/#comment-2561 Joan - <i>These</i> are the footnotes -- you're helping to write them! Time, yes -- not God. Fred - I appreciate hearing a Catholic reader's reaction. Joan – These are the footnotes — you’re helping to write them!

Time, yes — not God.

Fred – I appreciate hearing a Catholic reader’s reaction.

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