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There’s a popular software plugin for WordPress blogs that closes comments on posts more than a month old, thereby cutting down enormously on spam. But I really enjoy the few comments that do come in on archived posts. Just the other day, for example, someone dropped an appreciative comment about my piece on flowering dogwood from last spring. It’s always nice to attach a voice to one of those hundreds of daily page views from search engines. And here’s another person, who just took the time to let me know how much one of my rare attempts at food blogging had meant to him:

jesus christ man. all i wanted was a fucking recipe and i got a 7 page long set of instructions of how to obtain a freakin’ tasty egg. I don’t give a shit. eggs are eggs. i just wanted a recipe for some decent egg salad and I get this wordy bullshit. christ man. you’re a good writer but save that shit for outside the recipes. as much as you wanna be, there’s no need to elaborate on a god damn recipe. short and sweet, man. there’s some hungry folks out there who don’t wanna read all this garbage just to make a sandwich.

See, this is why I allow anonymous commenting, too. I live for comments like that!

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Dave Bonta (bio) crowd-sources his problems by following his gut, which he shares with 100 trillion of his closest microbial friends — a close-knit, symbiotic community comprising several thousand species of bacteria, fungi, and protozoa. In a similarly collaborative fashion, all of Dave's writing is available for reuse and creative remix under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 United States License. For attribution in printed material, his name (Dave Bonta) will suffice, but for web use, please link back to the original. Contact him for permission to waive the "share alike" provision (e.g. for use in a conventionally copyrighted work).

12 Comments


  1. Ha hahahaaa. But he had a point, you know. I thought seven pages might have been the hyperbole of frustration, but no. Seven pages minimum.

    At least your reply to him in the comments is concise.

    Reply

  2. Well I had a full belly, so I made it through most of that interesting and timely post. The Great Horned Owl, I think, is knocking off our Guineas; Possum got into the hen house at dusk, whole lot of munching going on. Possum just starts in chewing across the spine, crunching ribs, at least that was what he was doin’ when I came up on him. And you know what, I’ve trained the dogs to be kind to possums!

    Anyway, I love eggs best this time of year. I make egg white-heavy crepes topped with Rio Grapefruit plus a liberal dash of Fancy grade Vermont maple syrup and plenty of butter in the skillet. I’ve run low on eggs and used Walmart eggs today and were they terrible, mostly like air, and I don’t even free-range my chickens. I’m looking for eggs-for-sale signs next town trip.

    Was reading “Joy of Cooking” the other day. It was an older edition. It was hilarious; to me; at the time. A suet recipe was recommended for “when you’re more broke than the ten commandments”. I think the success of that book may have been due more to its wry wit and colorful asides than to the quality of its recipes, but I wouldn’t really know as all I try to cook are crepes and baklava.

    Nice egg post. Thanks!

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  3. That’s hilarious. I think you should write a food poem now. Book length. ;-)

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  4. Too funny. I feel a little sorry for that guy who thinks that eggs are eggs. But then again, you put bell peppers in your otherwise lovely egg salad dissertation, so you kind of had it coming. ;)

    Reply

  5. rr – No, he mayor may not have missed the point, but he certainly didn’t exaggerate. I used to be such an expansive blogger! What the hell happened to me?

    Larry – Well, then you probably missed all the arch wit and subtle nuance, too. ;)

    Bill – We lost all our barnyard fow to a raccoon; the opossums never gave us much trouble. Great-horned picked off a muscovy now and then, maybe.

    Those crepes sound good! And agreed about Joy – it is very well written.

    leslee – Yes, I can see writing a food epic. Maybe about an heroic crepe…

    Karen – Yes, but don’t I get any points for keeping out peanut butter and okra?

    Reply

  6. Fantastic.

    I’m constantly tempted to do away with comments altogether, but I suppose the hope of someday getting this kind of abuse keeps me going.

    Reply

  7. “Yes, I can see writing a food epic. Maybe about an heroic crepe”

    Wouldn’t a crepe be kind of an anti-hero? Maybe it could battle the Establishment of sandwich chains….

    Reply

  8. Teju – Be careful what you wish for…

    David – I see a kind of Marianne figure.

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  9. I had to Google for Marianne, but hey — viva la revolution!

    Reply

  10. What a nice pause to reminisce on the morning’s crepes. When good looks come with good flavor and are warm and elastic, an empire may well fall.

    Reply

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