Comments on: Resolutions

By: leslee

leslee — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 22:32:34 +0000

Hey thanks. I should have been visiting his site when I was working on my GI tract/constipation project. However, it does appear that there’s a sequel in the works…

By: Dave

Dave — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 02:53:59 +0000

Heh. Well, O.K., I know I'm not exactly discrete about such things. But you probably need to get out more.

By: leslee

leslee — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 01:51:27 +0000

Gosh, maybe I should blog about bodily functions more often.

I don’t know anyone who manages to work bodily functions into as many blog posts are you do, Dave.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 20:58:03 +0000

I like the sounds of “oddly satisfying job” and “click of a clean bite.” And “instant ground” surprised me, in a good way.

By: Dave

Dave — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 13:45:01 +0000

Thanks, Jo – I’m flattered by your high opinion. I added your blog to my Google Reader subscriptions yesterday, and intend to check back often. Very impressive stuff.

By: Jo

Jo — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:47:59 +0000

Hi Dave,

First up thanks for stopping by and commenting, I really appreciate it. Secondly I love this poem, as others have said the concentration, the detail are wonderful putting the reader right there in the moment with y0u. Great.

By: Dave

Dave — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 06:06:23 +0000

Thanks. Yeah, you’re right, the second suggestion doesn’t really fit, and it wasn’t entirely serious. I have more work to do on this poem, but it will need to go in the proverbial bottom drawer for a while first.

By: paisley

paisley — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 02:40:45 +0000

well… i have to say i do like both endings… however i find the last more ethereal than the body of the poem… if that matters… or not… wonderful way of going about the prompt……

By: Dave

Dave — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 19:24:23 +0000

Here’s an alternate last stanza:

I take care that each trimming
stays whole, a nearly perfect crescent
to admire for half a second before it drops,
a moon slipping into the white sea.

(Okay, maybe not!)

By: Dave

Dave — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 18:10:30 +0000

Gosh, maybe I should blog about bodily functions more often. I seem to have struck a real chord here. Thanks, y’all.

sbpoet – No, they sank from sight. I might put that in, too…

Derek – Lordliness, eh? But I didn’t make the servants do it this time. :)
(Glad you didn’t mind my critical comment on your blog.)

marlyat2 – Interesting. In that case (to answer SB’s last point), the narrator here is definitely not me! Or maybe it’s me the way I aspire to be: a fussy old bachelor who keeps everything neat as a pin.