The internet must die

Posted on January 5, 2010 by Dave Bonta

That haunting snippet of music you kept hearing on NPR, between stories on “All Things Considered”? Thanks to npr.org and the internet generally, you were able to track it down within minutes and listen to the whole song for free, because someone had thoughtfully uploaded it to YouTube. But alas, aside from that snippet, the song had nothing to offer, and it kept offering it for more than five minutes over progressively more synthetic beats. You try listening to a couple other pieces by the same band, and they’re so horrible you can’t get past the first minute. You’re reminded of a woman you glimpsed once in a side-street for several seconds, and how she haunted your imagination for years thereafter. What does the imagination know? Just enough to be dangerous. But the internet — the internet knows too much.

About Dave Bonta

Dave Bonta (bio) crowd-sources his problems by following his gut, which he shares with one quadrillion of his closest microbial friends --- a tight-knit, symbiotic community comprising some 500 different species of bacteria, fungi, and protozoa.
This entry was posted in Humor, Riffs. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to The internet must die

  1. mark says:
    January 5, 2010 at 10:17 am

    Knowledge without application is Congress…

  2. Beth Patterson says:
    January 5, 2010 at 10:28 am

    And, furthermore, when will all that knowledge evolve in a moment of Big Bangness into some kind of either Super Cyberborg, or Hip Super Wisdom, one?

    Either way, those of us with ordinary imaginations are outclassed. Even God may be threatened. Wow.

  3. quiet regular says:
    January 5, 2010 at 10:53 am

    you can still track it down on the web site. Click the link at the bottom of each story called “listen + playlist”.

  4. quiet regular says:
    January 5, 2010 at 10:54 am

    ok, I missed the point.

  6. JMartin says:
    January 5, 2010 at 10:56 am

    Die?

    Dave! Dave?

    I’m afraid. I’m afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going.

  7. Kass says:
    January 5, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    I enjoyed very much stalking you just now.

  8. Clive Hicks-Jenkins says:
    January 6, 2010 at 4:02 am

    Oh yes. Yes yes yes! The-woman-glimpsed-on-the-sidestreet-syndrome. Been there many times, except for me of course it was usually a man. It’s the old trick about only a fragment of knowledge being the necessary seed around which the imagination can grow the pearl. That’s why everyone looks so damned sexy in a domino mask. We onlookers give benefit of doubt and transform the ordinary into something utterly beguiling. Carnival time, when everyone is rendered beautiful by being only partially seen. Ho hum.

    Now where was I?