Where others may have
the blues, I have the grays.
That this lump of a dove
with its idiotic gaze
can make such a bone-
deep moan—it’s humbling.
My own song fumbles
borrowed words, absurd.
At best, I wrest a staccato beat
from the raucous crows,
yelling here, hear and jeering
at some insomniac owl.
I’ve got the grays—but
they make me grimace
from ear to ear
like poor Yorick before
he lost his jaw.
I croon. I caw.
(Lord’s day). In the morning to Paul’s, where I heard a pretty good sermon, and thence to dinner with my Lady at the Wardrobe; and after much talk with her after dinner, I went to the Temple to Church, and there heard another: by the same token a boy, being asleep, fell down a high seat to the ground, ready to break his neck, but got no hurt.
Thence to Graye’s Inn walkes; and there met Mr. Pickering and walked with him two hours till 8 o’clock till I was quite weary. His discourse most about the pride of the Duchess of York; and how all the ladies envy my Lady Castlemaine. He intends to go to Portsmouth to meet the Queen this week; which is now the discourse and expectation of the town.
So home, and no sooner come but Sir W. Warren comes to me to bring me a paper of Field’s (with whom we have lately had a great deal of trouble at the office), being a bitter petition to the King against our office for not doing justice upon his complaint to us of embezzlement of the King’s stores by one Turpin. I took Sir William to Sir W. Pen’s (who was newly come from Walthamstow), and there we read it and discoursed, but we do not much fear it, the King referring it to the Duke of York. So we drank a glass or two of wine, and so home and I to bed, my wife being in bed already.
I went to ground, ready to break
the gray clock.
My mouth is a warren.
Bring me a field,
a bitter plain to bezzle in
and fear rank as wine.
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Sunday 13 April 1662.
At the office all the morning, where, among other things, being provoked by some impertinence of Sir W. Batten’s, I called him unreasonable man, at which he was very angry and so was I, but I think we shall not much fall out about it.
After dinner to several places about business, and so home and wrote letters at my office, and one to Mr. Coventry about business, and at the close did excuse my not waiting on him myself so often as others do for want of leisure. So home and to bed.
All things call
and all fall and rot.
Excuse my not
waiting as others do
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Saturday 12 April 1662.
Up early to my lute and a song, then about six o’clock with Sir W. Pen by water to Deptford; and among the ships now going to Portugall with men and horse, to see them dispatched. So to Greenwich; and had a fine pleasant walk to Woolwich, having in our company Captn. Minnes, with whom I was much pleased to hear him talk in fine language, but pretty well for all that. Among other things, he and the other Captains that were with us tell me that negros drowned look white and lose their blackness, which I never heard before.
At Woolwich, up and down to do the same business; and so back to Greenwich by water, and there while something is dressing for our dinner, Sir William and I walked into the Park, where the King hath planted trees and made steps in the hill up to the Castle, which is very magnificent. So up and down the house, which is now repayring in the Queen’s lodgings.
So to dinner at the Globe, and Captain Lambert of the Duke’s pleasure boat came to us and dined with us, and were merry, and so home, and I in the evening to the Exchange, and spoke with uncle Wight, and so home and walked with my wife on the leads late, and so the barber came to me, and so to bed very weary, which I seldom am.
“six men I hear
drowned repairing the queen’s pleasure boat”
Erasure haiku derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Friday 11 April 1662.
To Westminster with the two Sir Williams by water, and did several businesses, and so to the Wardrobe with Mr. Moore to dinner. Yesterday came Col. Talbot with letters from Portugall, that the Queen is resolved to embarque for England this week.
Thence to the office all the afternoon. My Lord Windsor came to us to discourse of his affairs, and to take his leave of us; he being to go Governor of Jamaica with this fleet that is now going.
Late at the office. Home with my mind full of business. So to bed.
The water came
with letters from the land
to the air
with this fleet of ice.
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Thursday 10 April 1662.
Sir George Carteret, Sir Williams both and myself all the morning at the office passing the Victualler’s accounts, and at noon to dinner at the Dolphin, where a good chine of beef and other good cheer.
At dinner Sir George showed me an account in French of the great famine, which is to the greatest extremity in some part of France at this day, which is very strange.
So to the Exchange, Mrs. Turner (who I found sick in bed), and several other places about business, and so home. Supper and to bed.
A chin of good cheer
in a famine
is the greatest extremity.
Some part of this day
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Wednesday 9 April 1662.
Up very early and to my office, and there continued till noon. So to dinner, and in comes uncle Fenner and the two Joyces. I sent for a barrel of oysters and a breast of veal roasted, and were very merry; but I cannot down with their dull company and impertinent. After dinner to the office again. So at night by coach to Whitehall, and Mr. Coventry not being there I brought my business of the office to him, it being almost dark, and so came away and took up my wife. By the way home and on Ludgate Hill there being a stop I bought two cakes, and they were our supper at home.
An office dinner:
in come the oysters
with their dull company
and I am ill.
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Tuesday 8 April 1662.
By water to Whitehall and thence to Westminster, and staid at the Parliament-door long to speak with Mr. Coventry, which vexed me. Thence to the Lords’ House, and stood within the House, while the Bishops and Lords did stay till the Chancellor’s coming, and then we were put out, and they to prayers.
There comes a Bishop; and while he was rigging himself, he bid his man listen at the door, whereabout in the prayers they were but the man told him something, but could not tell whereabouts it was in the prayers, nor the Bishop neither, but laughed at the conceit; so went in: but, God forgive me! I did tell it by and by to people, and did say that the man said that they were about something of saving their souls, but could not tell whereabouts in the prayers that was.
I sent in a note to my Lord Privy Seal, and he came out to me; and I desired he would make another deputy for me, because of my great business of the Navy this month; but he told me he could not do it without the King’s consent, which vexed me. So to Dr. Castle’s, and there did get a promise from his clerk that his master should officiate for me to-morrow.
Thence by water to Tom’s, and there with my wife took coach and to the old Exchange, where having bought six large Holland bands, I sent her home, and myself found out my uncle Wight and Mr. Rawlinson, and with them went to the latter’s house to dinner, and there had a good dinner of cold meat and good wine, but was troubled in my head after the little wine I drank, and so home to my office, and there did promise to drink no more wine but one glass a meal till Whitsuntide next upon any score.
Mrs. Bowyer and her daughters being at my house I forbore to go to them, having business and my head disturbed, but staid at my office till night, and then to walk upon the leads with my wife, and so to my chamber and thence to bed.
The great talk is, that the Spaniards and the Hollanders do intend to set upon the Portuguese by sea, at Lisbon, as soon as our fleet is come away; and by that means our fleet is not likely to come yet these two months or three; which I hope is not true.
I listen to people say
something of saving their souls,
but prayers vex me.
Change and good wine
trouble my head of glass,
my head of lead.
Great is the land set upon by sea.
Hope is not true.
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Monday 7 April 1662.
(Lord’s day). By water to White Hall, to Sir G. Carteret, to give him an account of the backwardness of the ships we have hired to Portugall.
At which he is much troubled. Thence to the Chappell, and there, though crowded, heard a very honest sermon before the King by a Canon of Christ Church, upon these words, “Having a form of godliness, but denying,” &c. Among other things, did much insist upon the sin of adultery: which methought might touch the King, and the more because he forced it into his sermon, methinks, besides his text.
So up and saw the King at dinner; and thence with Sir G. Carteret to his lodgings to dinner, with him and his lady, where I saluted her, and was well received as a stranger by her; she seems a good lady, and all their discourse, which was very much, was upon their sufferings and services for the King. Yet not without some trouble, to see that some that had been much bound to them, do now neglect them; and others again most civil that have received least from them.
And I do believe that he hath been a good servant to the King.
Thence to walk in the Park, where the King and Duke did walk round the Park. After I was tired I went and took boat to Milford stairs, and so to Graye’s Inn walks, the first time I have been there this year, and it is very pleasant and full of good company. When tired I walked to the Wardrobe, and there staid a little with my Lady, and so by water from Paul’s Wharf (where my boat staid for me), home and supped with my wife with Sir W. Pen, and so home and to bed.
Before the words
of god, the things
the king thinks:
a stranger is trouble,
a good servant
is very pleasant
an aid—a little wharf.
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Sunday 6 April 1662.
At the office till almost noon, and then broke up. Then came Sir G. Carteret, and he and I walked together alone in the garden, taking notice of some faults in the office, particularly of Sir W. Batten’s, and he seemed to be much pleased with me, and I hope will be the ground of a future interest of mine in him, which I shall be glad of. Then with my wife abroad, she to the Wardrobe and there dined, and I to the Exchange and so to the Wardrobe, but they had dined. After dinner my wife and the two ladies to see my aunt Wight, and thence met me at home. From thence (after Sir W. Batten and I had viewed our houses with a workman in order to the raising of our roofs higher to enlarge our houses) I went with them by coach first to Moorfields and there walked, and thence to Islington and had a fine walk in the fields there, and so, after eating and drinking, home with them, and so by water with my wife home, and after supper to bed.
I walked alone, taking
notice of the ground—
a future of mine
which I shall be glad
raising our roof higher
our first moor.
I had a fine walk
in the fields—
the home I ate.
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Saturday 5 April 1662.