Comments on: Poem for Display at a City Reservoir

By: Dave

Dave — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 12:26:59 +0000

Hi Morten – Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to critique. Personally, I don’t think I’d be much interested in this poem if it didn’t explore that metaphor of eyes/reservoir at least a little, and talk about what a suicide means to those who are left behind. And the last lines of the first stanza are a bit too clever for the sort of ending I prefer.

By: Morten Skogly

Morten Skogly — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 05:11:29 +0000

Hi, this poem is really great! But a question: Do you need the second section at all? In my opinion you have said it all in the first paragraph… Just a suggestion.

By: Dave

Dave — Mon, 26 May 2008 13:27:02 +0000

Thanks for the comments, and sorry it’s taken me a while to get to them.

Joan – David is right about the studies I had in mind (and thanks for that link, David.)

Congratulations for being from one of the few states with a nickname as arrogant and annoying as “the Keystone State.” :)

Peter – Nope, I thought of that oh-so-clever phrase as I was writing it. I don’t know how many more of these I’ll write.

Joan #2 – Hmm. Good idea.

By: Johemmant

Johemmant — Mon, 26 May 2008 08:39:35 +0000

Well I love the dark wit of this……especially:

But what we crave in water is an absence of taste,
not the taste of absence

(but you’re getting the absence of taste when someone drowns themselves in there *grin*)

By: Black_Pete

Black_Pete — Sun, 25 May 2008 13:26:33 +0000

Hmm: I wonder if somewhere on a bridge high over a body of water or a canyon, there is a sign, “Stop! Have you remembered to prepay your funeral?”

By: Joan

Joan — Sun, 25 May 2008 00:24:46 +0000

On the other hand..I love the poem so who cares. Hey, Dave you already have a photo or two photosfor an upcoming poem You could expand on the “Don’t touch the Rocks” theme. (grin)

By: Peter

Peter — Sat, 24 May 2008 21:33:32 +0000

I like the reservoir’s attitude. Did the poem grow out of the taste of absence / absence of taste dichotomy?

I hope enough of these appear to festoon an entire town with. Dave for city manager!

By: Joan

Joan — Sat, 24 May 2008 20:44:11 +0000

I am not a scientist and I am vastly not qualified, but I am from Missouri..the show me state, and so far I am not all that convinced, even after reading all the latest arguments /comments below this article. Dead bodies emit gases, which emit fecal material whether in water or not. Dead bodies attract flies which don’t know which bodies are diseased or not when they go to the next live body. At any rate, I doubt many people who were not dying of thirst or in the throes of dimentia willing would drink from a body of water with a rotting corpse in residence. That puerperal fever saga doesn’t make me any more comforatable either.

By: David Harmon

David Harmon — Sat, 24 May 2008 18:45:38 +0000

Joan: Those diseases would only come from already-infected bodies, basically via fecal contamination, which also causes lesser illnesses. The thing is though, any reservoir -- indeed, practically any freshwater body in the world -- always has at least some fecal contamination, which is why we need water plants, and can't drink from open water anymore. (This is one of humanity's more dubious accomplishments.) Dave is referring particularly to recent studies making it clear that unburied bodies in themselves aren't particularly a disease menace. This becomes an issue in the wake of disaster or war, when burying or burning lots of bodies might use lots of resources better spent on the survivors.

By: Joan

Joan — Sat, 24 May 2008 17:14:40 +0000

love the poem but question the science. Why wouldn’t a body in a reservoir be toxic? Always thought those ‘boil water’ alerts were to avoid typhoid, cholera, dysentery, etc etc.