Epigraph

(Lord’s day). Up, and to church, where I have not been these many weeks. So home, and thither, inviting him yesterday, comes Mr. Hill, at which I was a little troubled, but made up all very well, carrying him with me to Sir J. Minnes, where I was invited and all our families to a venison pasty. Here good cheer and good discourse. After dinner Mr. Hill and I to my house, and there to musique all the afternoon. He being gone, in the evening I to my accounts, and to my great joy and with great thanks to Almighty God, I do find myself most clearly worth 1014l., the first time that ever I was worth 1000l. before, which is the height of all that ever I have for a long time pretended to. But by the blessing of God upon my care I hope to lay up something more in a little time, if this business of the victualling of Tangier goes on as I hope it will.
So with praise to God for this state of fortune that I am brought to as to wealth, and my condition being as I have at large set it down two days ago in this book, I home to supper and to bed, desiring God to give me the grace to make good use of what I have and continue my care and diligence to gain more.

I have bled good cheer
I have pretended to hope
I have set down in this book the grace of what
I have


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Sunday 31 July 1664.

Roshambo

All the morning at the office; at noon to the ‘Change, where great talke of a rich present brought by an East India ship from some of the Princes of India, worth to the King 70,000l. in two precious stones. After dinner to the office, and there all the afternoon making an end of several things against the end of the month, that I may clear all my reckonings tomorrow; also this afternoon, with great content, I finished the contracts for victualling of Tangier with Mr. Lanyon and the rest, and to my comfort got him and Andrews to sign to the giving me 300l. per annum, by which, at least, I hope to be a 100l. or two the better.
Wrote many letters by the post to ease my mind of business and to clear my paper of minutes, as I did lately oblige myself to clear every thing against the end of the month. So at night with my mind quiet and contented to bed. This day I sent a side of venison and six bottles of wine to Kate Joyce.

stone got
the better of paper

as I oblige myself with six
bottles of wine


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Saturday 30 July 1664.

Vegetation

At the office all the morning dispatching of business, at noon to the ‘Change after dinner, and thence to Tom Trice about Dr. Pepys’s business, and thence it raining turned into Fleet Alley, and there was with Cocke an hour or so. The jade, whether I would not give her money or not enough; she would not offer to invite to do anything, but on the contrary saying she had no time, which I was glad of, for I had no mind to meddle with her, but had my end to see what a cunning jade she was, to see her impudent tricks and ways of getting money and raising the reckoning by still calling for things, that it come to 6 or 7 shillings presently. So away home, glad I escaped without any inconvenience, and there came Mr. Hill, Andrews and Seignor Pedro, and great store of musique we had, but I begin to be weary of having a master with us, for it spoils, methinks, the ingenuity of our practice.
After they were gone comes Mr. Bland to me, sat till 11 at night with me, talking of the garrison of Tangier and serving them with pieces of eight. A mind he hath to be employed there, but dares not desire any courtesy of me, and yet would fain engage me to be for him, for I perceive they do all find that I am the busy man to see the King have right done him by inquiring out other bidders. Being quite tired with him, I got him gone, and so to bed.

rain turned into jade
cunning as a way of raising things

but I begin to be weary
of having spoil

the land in pieces
would be a busy bed


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Friday 29 July 1664.

Contemplation

At the office all the morning, dined, after ‘Change, at home, and then abroad, and seeing “The Bondman” upon the posts, I consulted my oaths and find I may go safely this time without breaking it; I went thither, notwithstanding my great desire to have gone to Fleet Alley, God forgive me, again. There I saw it acted. It is true, for want of practice, they had many of them forgot their parts a little; but Betterton and my poor Ianthe outdo all the world. There is nothing more taking in the world with me than that play.
Thence to Westminster to my barber’s, and strange to think how when I find that Jervas himself did intend to bring home my periwigg, and not Jane his maid, I did desire not to have it at all, for I had a mind to have her bring it home. I also went to Mr. Blagrave’s about speaking to him for his kinswoman to come live with my wife, but they are not come to town, and so I home by coach and to my office, and then to supper and to bed.
My present posture is thus: my wife in the country and my mayde Besse with her and all quiett there. I am endeavouring to find a woman for her to my mind, and above all one that understands musique, especially singing. I am the willinger to keepe one because I am in good hopes to get 2 or 300l. per annum extraordinary by the business of the victualling of Tangier, and yet Mr. Alsopp, my chief hopes, is dead since my looking after it, and now Mr. Lanyon, I fear, is, falling sicke too. I am pretty well in health, only subject to wind upon any cold, and then immediate and great pains.
All our discourse is of a Dutch warr and I find it is likely to come to it, for they are very high and desire not to compliment us at all, as far as I hear, but to send a good fleete to Guinny to oppose us there. My Lord Sandwich newly gone to sea, and I, I think, fallen into his very good opinion again, at least he did before his going, and by his letter since, show me all manner of respect and confidence.
I am over-joyed in hopes that upon this month’s account I shall find myself worth 1000l., besides the rich present of two silver and gilt flaggons which Mr. Gauden did give me the other day.
I do now live very prettily at home, being most seriously, quietly, and neatly served by my two mayds Jane and the girle Su, with both of whom I am mightily well pleased.
My greatest trouble is the settling of Brampton Estate, that I may know what to expect, and how to be able to leave it when I die, so as to be just to my promise to my uncle Thomas and his son. The next thing is this cursed trouble my brother Tom is likely to put us to by his death, forcing us to law with his creditors, among others Dr. Tom Pepys, and that with some shame as trouble, and the last how to know in what manner as to saving or spending my father lives, lest they should run me in debt as one of my uncle’s executors, and I never the wiser nor better for it. But in all this I hope shortly to be at leisure to consider and inform myself well.

seeing without breaking
I practice for nothing more
than the present

like a sea fallen quiet
with the settling of other lives


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Thursday 28 July 1664.

Self-portrait as laboratory report

The link appears early morning
in her email inbox: Welcome

to the patient portal. The test
result report has only three words—

Finding: [ __ ] mass. Outside, crepe
myrtles weigh down the branches.

Their ends, untrimmed, could brush
the heads of passersby on the sidewalk.

After rain, the streets look like studies
in pointillism. As in: what is the point

to all this loosened beauty, the crumpled
asterisks illuminating asphalt? Contrast

and elaboration. A chain of incidents
interrupted by digressions. Somewhere,

a reader worked to decode the possible meanings
trapped by light in a frame, on film, under glass.
`

Geography lesson

Rank and overripe smell in the air after rain,
maybe from an open sewer. I think of where

we went to elementary school, how we learned
to drink little if not at all from Tupperware

tumblers with water from home or sodas bought
from the school canteen, poured into plastic

bags: a straw stuck into the open end
before the top was pulled close

with a rubber band. I learned the hard
way after wetting myself on the first day

and suffering the embarrassment of having
the office call my mother, who brought a change

of underwear and clothes. If we needed to go
at all, we learned to hold our breath

as we scanned the open stalls on the ground
floor or in the annex at the edge of the yard,

for the least offensive latrine. There was no
running water— only metal drums just outside,

open to the copious rain. Something was always
getting stuck or overflowing. No wonder,

since even the teachers said: You can rip
a sheet out of your writing pad to use

as toilet paper. Sometimes the nuns
also had small stacks of colorful paper,

ads from old magazine pages: the kind
where you might glimpse pieces torn

from a brilliant world— quaint villages
along the Rhine, ramparts on the hills;

for seven nights and eight days, a cruise
on a boat from which to view the setting

sun and rising moon. 2799+ per person,
land tours and gratuities not included.

 

In response to Via Negativa: Proving the rule.