“I wanted nothing but your happiness.” ~ Brenda Shaughnessy,”Magi”
But it is true I wanted to find
some joy for myself too. Why
regard these things as if they
were such a terrible contradiction?
There are those who want diamonds, houses,
sex, men, money, the beauty of the world
with which to garland their bodies. Or travel;
time to read books, widen the berth on which
one might perch through calamitously tilting
years. Space in which to turn into a self
separate from the ones attached to the glittering
need and hunger of others. Once, I was told: reach
and you can reach for others. Become and you can be
their more. I’ve pressed myself as hard as I can
into the mouth of that machine. Can you believe me then
when I say I wanted nothing but your happiness? Still do.