Via Negativa

It was

2026-06-15T17:34:49Z

the heaviness and certainty of the impending.
Finally I took out the binder and started to enter
information that end of life planners think
will be the most useful to those who’ll have
to put my affairs in order. Let me tell you,
these things are not a breeze. I filled in perhaps
two pages. I haven’t reached the part where,
seeing the light, Dante might exclaim
that within its depths, he sees Bound by love
into a single volume, Pages that lie scattered
through the universe. OK Dante, I’m trying
to get it together. The wood is also dark
tonight, a storm bearing down, the sea
a typewriter carriage endlessly recording.

Imprecatory

2026-06-15T00:23:58Z

(Lord’s day). Lay long in bed. So up and to church. Then to dinner, and Tom dined with me, who I think grows a very thriving man, as he himself tells me.
He tells me that his man John has got a wife, and for that he intends to part with him, which I am sorry for, and then that Mr. Armiger comes to be a constant lodger at his house, and he says has money in his purse and will be a good paymaster, but I do much doubt it.
He being gone, I up and sending my people to church, my wife and I did even our reckonings, and had a great deal of serious talk, wherein I took occasion to give her hints of the necessity of our saving all we can. I do see great cause every day to curse the time that ever I did give way to the taking of a woman for her, though I could never have had a better, and also the letting of her learn to dance, by both which her mind is so devilishly taken off her business and minding her occasions, and besides has got such an opinion in her of my being jealous, that it is never to be removed, I fear, nor hardly my trouble that attends it; but I must have patience.
I did give her 40s. to carry into the country tomorrow with her, whereof 15s. is to go for the coach-hire for her and Ashwell, there being 20s. paid here already in earnest.
In the evening our discourse turned to great content and love, and I hope that after a little forgetting our late differences, and being a while absent one from another, we shall come to agree as well as ever.
So to Sir W. Pen’s to visit him, and finding him alone, sent for my wife, who is in her riding-suit, to see him, which she hath not done these many months I think. By and by in comes Sir J. Minnes and Sir W. Batten, and so we sat talking. Among other things, Sir J. Minnes brought many fine expressions of Chaucer, which he doats on mightily, and without doubt he is a very fine poet.
Sir W. Pen continues lame of the gout, that he cannot rise from his chair. So after staying an hour with him, we went home and to supper, and so to prayers and bed.

I reckon as necessity
every day to curse

though the devil
never attends

being so fine a poet
he is in our prayers

Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Sunday 14 June 1663.

It was

2026-06-14T17:54:46Z

early morning, the red shutters
not yet flung open, everyone else 
in Vitebsk still asleep (except for someone 
relieving himself by the fence). A goat grazes
in the yard between the stable and the house.
Mist and fog cloak everything with the quiet 
of not-moving. If there's any ripening and harvest
in orchards and fields, this isn't in the picture.  
Neither is the war looming over Europe 
and the rest of the world.  But you and your wife 
rise into the powdery sky like something of joy 
that's escaped containment.  Like the landscape 
soon folding inward into cubes shows you a dimension 
it wants you to remember above everything else. 

~ after Marc Chagall

Inner city

2026-06-14T15:10:53Z

Up and betimes to Thames Street among the tarr men, to look the price of tarr and so by water to Whitehall thinking to speak with Sir G. Carteret, but he lying in the city all night, and meeting with Mr. Cutler the merchant, I with him in his coach into the city to Sir G. Carteret, but missing him there, he and I walked to find him at Sir Tho. Allen’s in Bread Street, where not finding him he and I walked towards our office, he discoursing well of the business of the Navy, and particularly of the victualling, in which he was once I perceive concerned, and he and I parted and I to the office and there had a difference with Sir W. Batten about Mr. Bowyer’s tarr, which I am resolved to cross, though he sent me last night, as a bribe, a barrel of sturgeon, which, it may be, I shall send back, for I will not have the King abused so abominably in the price of what we buy, by Sir W. Batten’s corruption and underhand dealing. So from the office, Mr. Wayth with me, to the Parliament House, and there I spoke and told Sir G. Carteret all, with which he is well pleased, and do recall his willingness yesterday, it seems, to Sir W. Batten, that we should buy a great quantity of tarr, being abused by him.
Thence with Mr. Wayth after drinking a cupp of ale at the Swan, talking of the corruption of the Navy, by water. I landed him at Whitefriars, and I to the Exchange, and so home to dinner, where I found my wife’s brother, and thence after dinner by water to the Royall Theatre, where I resolved to bid farewell, as shall appear by my oaths tomorrow against all plays either at publique houses or Court till Christmas be over.
Here we saw “The Faithfull Sheepheardesse,” a most simple thing, and yet much thronged after, and often shown, but it is only for the scenes’ sake, which is very fine indeed and worth seeing; but I am quite out of opinion with any of their actings, but Lacy’s, compared with the other house.
Thence to see Mrs. Hunt, which we did and were much made of; and in our way saw my Lady Castlemaine, who, I fear, is not so handsome as I have taken her for, and now she begins to decay something. This is my wife’s opinion also, for which I am sorry. Thence by coach, with a mad coachman, that drove like mad, and down byeways, through Bucklersbury home, everybody through the street cursing him, being ready to run over them. So home, and after writing letters by the post, home to supper and bed.
Yesterday, upon conference with the King in the Banqueting House, the Parliament did agree with much ado, it being carried but by forty-two voices, that they would supply him with a sum of money; but what and how is not yet known, but expected to be done with great disputes the next week. But if done at all, it is well.

in the city is a city
missing bread
for an old swan

a public faith made of fear
begins to decay
like a body in a car

voices of money not yet known
expect to be done
with disputes

Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Saturday 13 June 1663.

It was

2026-06-13T22:12:05Z

a mango flayed to its seed, a styrofoam box
with mounds of mashed potato. There are
such wonders sometimes on the sidewalk: 
a plastic knife and a melting tub of cream
cheese beside an everything bagel, pristine 
and unmarked by teeth. Amid the thickest
growth of leaves, the insides of ripe figs
spill out of themselves. A ransacking,
a feast, a drama enacted offstage or 
just out of earshot. If I feed you a TV
dinner, will you stay and tell me 
about all the books I haven't read? 
The loneliest food I've ever seen was one 
saltine cracker drowning in a bog of soup.

It was

2026-06-13T03:26:01Z

the midrib of the year, quavering bone 
dividing the rooms into before and after.
Or, history and who knows what comes 
next. The stoics argue that you should never 
allow the future to disturb you, for it will come 
to meet us, regardless. Or you'll run into it 
first, depending  on your willingness to receive 
without nostalgia. Morning light tints the walls
the same color as what leaks into the streets.
You swing your feet over the side of the bed
and they look for slippers, as if they had that 
small, separate autonomy. What does it mean
to live without asking, or expectation? You arms
slide into sleeves, lift a cup of water to your lips.

Fragmental

2026-06-12T14:54:49Z

Up and my office, there conning my measuring Ruler, which I shall grow a master of in a very little time. At noon to the Exchange and so home to dinner, and abroad with my wife by water to the Royall Theatre; and there saw “The Committee,” a merry but indifferent play, only Lacey’s part, an Irish footman, is beyond imagination. Here I saw my Lord Falconbridge, and his Lady, my Lady Mary Cromwell, who looks as well as I have known her, and well clad; but when the House began to fill she put on her vizard, and so kept it on all the play; which of late is become a great fashion among the ladies, which hides their whole face.
So to the Exchange, to buy things with my wife; among others, a vizard for herself. And so by water home and to my office to do a little business, and so to see Sir W. Pen, but being going to bed and not well I could not see him. So home and to supper and bed, being mightily troubled all night and next morning with the palate of my mouth being down from some cold I took to-day sitting sweating in the playhouse, and the wind blowing through the windows upon my head.

in heat beyond imagination
a falcon I could not see

and all night a cold wind
blowing through my head

Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Friday 12 June 1663.

It was

2026-06-13T00:38:01Z

hotter today in the southeast than it was
in south Texas, according to the news.
The difference between dry heat and humid
heat isn't a matter of philosophical degree.
In 1911, train tracks buckled in the heat 
and roads paved with tar turned syrupy. 
As summer wears on and El Niño takes
hold, heat index charts are mostly fiery
orange. If it's not heat, it'll be lightning 
strikes or tornados. In the great heat
wave of 1936, clouds of blistered grass-
hoppers fell through Midwest skies. A line
in Revelation describes a sea of glass mingled 
with fire, no fleet of cruise ships at the ports.

Unsatisfactory

2026-06-12T00:08:38Z

Up and spent most of the morning upon my measuring Ruler and with great pleasure I have found out some things myself of great dispatch, more than my book teaches me, which pleases me mightily. Sent my wife’s things and the wine to-day by the carrier to my father’s, but staid my boy from a letter of my father’s, wherein he desires that he may not come to trouble his family as he did the last year.
Dined at home and then to the office, where we sat all the afternoon, and at night home and spent the evening with my wife, and she and I did jangle mightily about her cushions that she wrought with worsteds the last year, which are too little for any use, but were good friends by and by again. But one thing I must confess I do observe, which I did not before, which is, that I cannot blame my wife to be now in a worse humour than she used to be, for I am taken up in my talk with Ashwell, who is a very witty girl, that I am not so fond of her as I used and ought to be, which now I do perceive I will remedy, but I would to the Lord I had never taken any, though I cannot have a better than her. To supper and to bed. The consideration that this is the longest day in the year is very unpleasant to me. This afternoon my wife had a visit from my Lady Jeminah and Mr. Ferrers.

measuring pleasure
I have found more aches

wine that may not last
the afternoon

cushions that are too little
for any use

friends that I am not
so fond of now

on the longest day in the year
unpleasant to visit

Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Thursday 11 June 1663.

Transformative

2026-06-11T01:23:37Z

Up and all the morning helping my wife to put up her things towards her going into the country and drawing the wine out of my vessel to send.
This morning came my cozen Thomas Pepys to desire me to furnish him with some money, which I could not do till his father has wrote to Piggott his consent to the sale of his lands, so by and by we parted and I to the Exchange a while and so home and to dinner, and thence to the Royal Theatre by water, and landing, met with Captain Ferrers his friend, the little man that used to be with him, and he with us, and sat by us while we saw “Love in a Maze.” The play is pretty good, but the life of the play is Lacy’s part, the clown, which is most admirable; but for the rest, which are counted such old and excellent actors, in my life I never heard both men and women so ill pronounce their parts, even to my making myself sick therewith.
Thence, Creed happening to be with us, we four to the Half–Moon Tavern, I buying some sugar and carrying it with me, which we drank with wine and thence to the whay-house, and drank a great deal of whay, and so by water home, and thence to see Sir W. Pen, who is not in much pain, but his legs swell and so immoveable that he cannot stir them, but as they are lifted by other people and I doubt will have another fit of his late pain. Played a little at cards with him and his daughter, who is grown every day a finer and finer lady, and so home to supper and to bed.
When my wife and I came first home we took Ashwell and all the rest below in the cellar with the vintner drawing out my wine, which I blamed Ashwell much for and told her my mind that I would not endure it, nor was it fit for her to make herself equal with the ordinary servants of the house.

going into the country
one could land

in the little life of a clown
for old women

the half moon so moveable
as they play at cards

every day in the cellar
with the wine of the house

Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Wednesday 10 June 1663.