Repeated Dreams

Peanuts-style cartoon figure with sad face
via Peanutizeme.com

loss and betrayal
in a town of dead-end streets
I wake with relief

~

misbehaving
with no enjoyment
I wake ashamed

~

bits of my body
weaken, fester and fall off
I wake in horror

~

outside looking in
the sash window slams down
I wake angry

~

neglected baby
dying in a back bedroom
I wake filled with guilt

~

a long-lost friend
denies me, turns away
I wake in tears

~

under the apple tree
dappled roleplay with my dolls
I wake to Autumn

Container terminal

Up betimes and to my workmen, and then to the office, where we sat all the morning. So home to dinner alone and then to my workmen till night, and so to my office till bedtime, and so after supper to my lodgings and to bed.
This evening I sat awhile at Sir W. Batten’s with Sir J. Minnes, &c., where he told us among many other things how in Portugal they scorn to make a seat for a house of office, but they do shit all in pots and so empty them in the river.
I did also hear how the woman, formerly nurse to Mrs. Lemon (Sir W. Batten’s daughter), her child was torn to pieces by two doggs at Walthamstow this week, and is dead, which is very strange.

morning ice
where they shit in the river
a dog is dead


Erasure haiku derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Thursday 25 September 1662.

Earth

At the office all the morning, and at noon Sir G. Carteret, Mr. Coventry, and I by invitation to dinner to Sheriff Maynell’s, the great money-man; he, Alderman Backwell, and much noble and brave company, with the privilege of their rare discourse, which is great content to me above all other things in the world. And after a great dinner and much discourse, we arose and took leave, and home to the business of my office, where I thank God I take delight, and in the evening to my lodging and to bed.
Among other discourse, speaking concerning the great charity used in Catholic countrys, Mr. Ashburnham did tell us, that this last year, there being great want of corn in Paris, and so a collection made for the poor, there was two pearls brought in, nobody knew from whom (till the Queen, seeing them, knew whose they were, but did not discover it), which were sold for 200,000 crownes.

a rare world—
light in the evening
among the corn


Erasure haiku derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Thursday 18 September 1662.

Early autumn

Up, but not so soon as I have of late practised, my little trouble of mind and the shortness of the days making me to lie a little longer than I used to do, but I must make it up by sitting up longer of nights. To my office, whither my brother Tom, whom I chide sufficiently for yesterday’s work. So we sat at the office all the morning, some of us at Deptford paying the ordinary there; at noon Sir W. Pen took me to his lodgings to dinner, and after dinner I to my office again, and now and then to see how my work goes on, and so to my office late, and so to my lodgings, and after staying up till past 12 at night, at my musique upon my lute, to bed. This night Tom came to show me a civil letter sent him from his mistress. I am pleased well enough with the business.

my little trouble
making me lie at the office—
morning mist


Erasure haiku derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Thursday 11 September 1662.

Appearance

Up betimes and got myself ready alone, and so to my office, my mind much troubled for my key that I lost yesterday, and so to my workmen and put them in order, and so to my office, and we met all the morning, and then dined at Sir W. Batten’s with Sir W. Pen, and so to my office again all the afternoon, and in the evening wrote a letter to Mr. Cooke, in the country, in behalf of my brother Tom, to his mistress, it being the first of my appearing in it, and if she be as Tom sets her out, it may be very well for him. So home and eat a bit, and so to my lodging to bed.

mind troubled
for my key that I lost—
the first pear


Erasure haiku derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Tuesday 2 September 1662.

Long pig

Up by 4 a-clock. And up looking over my work, what they did yesterday; and am pretty well pleased, but I find it will be long before they have done, though the house is cover-d and I free from the weather.
We met and sat all the morning, and at noon was sent for by my Uncle Wight to Mr. Rawlinson’s, and there we had a pigg, and Dr Fairebrother came to me to see me and dined with us. And after dinner he went away, and I by my uncles desire stayed; and there he begun to discourse about our difference with Mr. Young about Flaggs, pleading for him, which he did desire might be made up; but I told him how things was, and so he was satisfied and said no more. So home and above with my workmen, who I find busy and my work going on pretty well. And so to my office till night; and so to eat a bit and so to bed.

long pig—
our difference is no more
and so I eat


Erasure haiku derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Saturday 16 August 1662.

Sacramental

All the morning at the office. Dined at home all alone, and so to my office again, whither Dean Fuller came to see me, and having business about a ship to carry his goods to Dublin, whither he is shortly to return, I went with him to the Hermitage, and the ship happening to be Captn. Holland’s I did give orders for them to be well looked after, and thence with him to the Custom House about getting a pass for them, and so to the Dolphin tavern, where I spent 6d. on him, but drank but one glass of wine, and so parted. He tells me that his niece, that sings so well, whom I have long longed to see, is married to one Mr. Boys, a wholesale man at the Three Crowns in Cheapside.
I to the office again, whither Cooper came and read his last lecture to me upon my modell, and so bid me good bye, he being to go to-morrow to Chatham to take charge of the ship I have got him. So to my business till 9 at night, and so to supper and to bed, my mind a little at ease because my house is now quite tiled.

morning hermitage
one glass of wine and he sings
goodbye to sin


Erasure haiku derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Monday 11 August 1662.

Freight

Up early, and, going to my office, met Sir G. Carteret in coming through the yard, and so walked a good while talking with him about Sir W. Batten, and find that he is going down the wind in every body’s esteem, and in that of his honesty by this letter that he wrote to Captn. Allen concerning Alderman Barker’s hemp. Thence by water to White Hall; and so to St. James’s; but there found Mr. Coventry gone to Hampton Court. So to my Lord’s; and he is also gone: this being a great day at the Council about some business at the Council before the King. Here I met with Mr. Pierce, the chyrurgeon, who told me how Mr. Edward Montagu hath lately had a duell with Mr. Cholmely, that is first gentleman-usher to the Queen, and was a messenger from the King to her in Portugall, and is a fine gentleman; but had received many affronts from Mr. Montagu, and some unkindness from my Lord, upon his score (for which I am sorry). He proved too hard for Montagu, and drove him so far backward that he fell into a ditch, and dropt his sword, but with honour would take no advantage over him; but did give him his life: and the world says Mr. Montagu did carry himself very poorly in the business, and hath lost his honour for ever with all people in it, of which I am very glad, in hopes that it will humble him. I hear also that he hath sent to my Lord to borrow 400l., giving his brother Harvey’s security for it, and that my Lord will lend it him, for which I am sorry.
Thence home, and at my office all the morning, and dined at home, and can hardly keep myself from having a mind to my wench, but I hope I shall not fall to such a shame to myself. All the afternoon also at my office, and did business. In the evening came Mr. Bland the merchant to me, who has lived long in Spain, and is concerned in the business of Tangier, who did discourse with me largely of it, and after he was gone did send me three or four printed things that he hath wrote of trade in general and of Tangier particularly, but I do not find much in them. This afternoon Mr. Waith was with me, and did tell me much concerning the Chest, which I am resolved to look into; and I perceive he is sensible of Sir W. Batten’s carriage; and is pleased to see any thing work against him. Who, poor man, is, I perceive, much troubled, and did yesterday morning walk in the garden with me, did tell me he did see there was a design of bringing another man in his room, and took notice of my sorting myself with others, and that we did business by ourselves without him. Part of which is true, but I denied, and truly, any design of doing him any such wrong as that. He told me he did not say it particularly of me, but he was confident there was somebody intended to be brought in, nay, that the trayne was laid before Sir W. Pen went, which I was glad to hear him say. Upon the whole I see he perceives himself tottering, and that he is suspected, and would be kind to me, but I do my business in the office and neglect him.
At night writing in my study a mouse ran over my table, which I shut up fast under my shelf’s upon my table till to-morrow, and so home and to bed.

the evening train
I hear a mouse under
my table


Erasure haiku derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Wednesday 6 August 1662.

Ennui

Up, my head aching, and to my office, where Cooper read me another lecture upon my modell very pleasant.
So to my business all the morning, which increases by people coming now to me to the office. At noon to the Exchange, where meeting Mr. Creed and Moore we three to a house hard by (which I was not pleased with) to dinner, and after dinner and some discourse ordinary by coach home, it raining hard, and so at the office all the afternoon till evening to my chamber, where, God forgive me, I was sorry to hear that Sir W. Pen’s maid Betty was gone away yesterday, for I was in hopes to have had a bout with her before she had gone, she being very pretty. I had also a mind to my own wench, but I dare not for fear she should prove honest and refuse and then tell my wife.
I staid up late, putting things in order for my going to Chatham to-morrow, and so to bed, being in pain in my cods with the little riding in a coach to-day from the Exchange, which do trouble me.

rain all afternoon
I put things
in my hat


Erasure haiku derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Friday 1 August 1662.

Bugged

Up early, and by six o’clock, after my wife was ready, I walked with her to the George, at Holborn Conduit, where the coach stood ready to carry her and her maid to Bugden, but that not being ready, my brother Tom staid with them to see them gone, and so I took a troubled though willing goodbye, because of the bad condition of my house to have a family in it. So I took leave of her and walked to the waterside, and there took boat for the Tower; hearing that the Queen-Mother is come this morning already as high as Woolwich: and that my Lord Sandwich was with her; at which my heart was glad, and I sent the waterman, though yet not very certain of it, to my wife to carry news thereof to my Lady. So to my office all the morning abstracting the Duke’s instructions in the margin thereof.
So home all alone to dinner, and then to the office again, and in the evening Cooper comes, and he being gone, to my chamber a little troubled and melancholy, to my lute late, and so to bed, Will lying there at my feet, and the wench in my house in Will’s bed.

a bug in my ear
its abstract instructions
and melancholy feet


Erasure haiku derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Monday 28 July 1662.