early morning, the red shutters
not yet flung open, everyone else
in Vitebsk still asleep (except for someone
relieving himself by the fence). A goat grazes
in the yard between the stable and the house.
Mist and fog cloak everything with the quiet
of not-moving. If there's any ripening and harvest
in orchards and fields, this isn't in the picture.
Neither is the war looming over Europe
and the rest of the world. But you and your wife
rise into the powdery sky like something of joy
that's escaped containment. Like the landscape
soon folding inward into cubes shows you a dimension
it wants you to remember above everything else.
~ after Marc Chagall
Inner city
Up and betimes to Thames Street among the tarr men, to look the price of tarr and so by water to Whitehall thinking to speak with Sir G. Carteret, but he lying in the city all night, and meeting with Mr. Cutler the merchant, I with him in his coach into the city to Sir G. Carteret, but missing him there, he and I walked to find him at Sir Tho. Allen’s in Bread Street, where not finding him he and I walked towards our office, he discoursing well of the business of the Navy, and particularly of the victualling, in which he was once I perceive concerned, and he and I parted and I to the office and there had a difference with Sir W. Batten about Mr. Bowyer’s tarr, which I am resolved to cross, though he sent me last night, as a bribe, a barrel of sturgeon, which, it may be, I shall send back, for I will not have the King abused so abominably in the price of what we buy, by Sir W. Batten’s corruption and underhand dealing. So from the office, Mr. Wayth with me, to the Parliament House, and there I spoke and told Sir G. Carteret all, with which he is well pleased, and do recall his willingness yesterday, it seems, to Sir W. Batten, that we should buy a great quantity of tarr, being abused by him.
Thence with Mr. Wayth after drinking a cupp of ale at the Swan, talking of the corruption of the Navy, by water. I landed him at Whitefriars, and I to the Exchange, and so home to dinner, where I found my wife’s brother, and thence after dinner by water to the Royall Theatre, where I resolved to bid farewell, as shall appear by my oaths tomorrow against all plays either at publique houses or Court till Christmas be over.
Here we saw “The Faithfull Sheepheardesse,” a most simple thing, and yet much thronged after, and often shown, but it is only for the scenes’ sake, which is very fine indeed and worth seeing; but I am quite out of opinion with any of their actings, but Lacy’s, compared with the other house.
Thence to see Mrs. Hunt, which we did and were much made of; and in our way saw my Lady Castlemaine, who, I fear, is not so handsome as I have taken her for, and now she begins to decay something. This is my wife’s opinion also, for which I am sorry. Thence by coach, with a mad coachman, that drove like mad, and down byeways, through Bucklersbury home, everybody through the street cursing him, being ready to run over them. So home, and after writing letters by the post, home to supper and bed.
Yesterday, upon conference with the King in the Banqueting House, the Parliament did agree with much ado, it being carried but by forty-two voices, that they would supply him with a sum of money; but what and how is not yet known, but expected to be done with great disputes the next week. But if done at all, it is well.
in the city is a city
missing bread
for an old swan
a public faith made of fear
begins to decay
like a body in a car
voices of money not yet known
expect to be done
with disputes
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Saturday 13 June 1663.
It was
a mango flayed to its seed, a styrofoam box
with mounds of mashed potato. There are
such wonders sometimes on the sidewalk:
a plastic knife and a melting tub of cream
cheese beside an everything bagel, pristine
and unmarked by teeth. Amid the thickest
growth of leaves, the insides of ripe figs
spill out of themselves. A ransacking,
a feast, a drama enacted offstage or
just out of earshot. If I feed you a TV
dinner, will you stay and tell me
about all the books I haven't read?
The loneliest food I've ever seen was one
saltine cracker drowning in a bog of soup.
It was
the midrib of the year, quavering bone
dividing the rooms into before and after.
Or, history and who knows what comes
next. The stoics argue that you should never
allow the future to disturb you, for it will come
to meet us, regardless. Or you'll run into it
first, depending on your willingness to receive
without nostalgia. Morning light tints the walls
the same color as what leaks into the streets.
You swing your feet over the side of the bed
and they look for slippers, as if they had that
small, separate autonomy. What does it mean
to live without asking, or expectation? You arms
slide into sleeves, lift a cup of water to your lips.
Fragmental
Up and my office, there conning my measuring Ruler, which I shall grow a master of in a very little time. At noon to the Exchange and so home to dinner, and abroad with my wife by water to the Royall Theatre; and there saw “The Committee,” a merry but indifferent play, only Lacey’s part, an Irish footman, is beyond imagination. Here I saw my Lord Falconbridge, and his Lady, my Lady Mary Cromwell, who looks as well as I have known her, and well clad; but when the House began to fill she put on her vizard, and so kept it on all the play; which of late is become a great fashion among the ladies, which hides their whole face.
So to the Exchange, to buy things with my wife; among others, a vizard for herself. And so by water home and to my office to do a little business, and so to see Sir W. Pen, but being going to bed and not well I could not see him. So home and to supper and bed, being mightily troubled all night and next morning with the palate of my mouth being down from some cold I took to-day sitting sweating in the playhouse, and the wind blowing through the windows upon my head.
in heat beyond imagination
a falcon I could not see
and all night a cold wind
blowing through my head
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Friday 12 June 1663.
It was
hotter today in the southeast than it was
in south Texas, according to the news.
The difference between dry heat and humid
heat isn't a matter of philosophical degree.
In 1911, train tracks buckled in the heat
and roads paved with tar turned syrupy.
As summer wears on and El Niño takes
hold, heat index charts are mostly fiery
orange. If it's not heat, it'll be lightning
strikes or tornados. In the great heat
wave of 1936, clouds of blistered grass-
hoppers fell through Midwest skies. A line
in Revelation describes a sea of glass mingled
with fire, no fleet of cruise ships at the ports.
Unsatisfactory
Up and spent most of the morning upon my measuring Ruler and with great pleasure I have found out some things myself of great dispatch, more than my book teaches me, which pleases me mightily. Sent my wife’s things and the wine to-day by the carrier to my father’s, but staid my boy from a letter of my father’s, wherein he desires that he may not come to trouble his family as he did the last year.
Dined at home and then to the office, where we sat all the afternoon, and at night home and spent the evening with my wife, and she and I did jangle mightily about her cushions that she wrought with worsteds the last year, which are too little for any use, but were good friends by and by again. But one thing I must confess I do observe, which I did not before, which is, that I cannot blame my wife to be now in a worse humour than she used to be, for I am taken up in my talk with Ashwell, who is a very witty girl, that I am not so fond of her as I used and ought to be, which now I do perceive I will remedy, but I would to the Lord I had never taken any, though I cannot have a better than her. To supper and to bed. The consideration that this is the longest day in the year is very unpleasant to me. This afternoon my wife had a visit from my Lady Jeminah and Mr. Ferrers.
measuring pleasure
I have found more aches
wine that may not last
the afternoon
cushions that are too little
for any use
friends that I am not
so fond of now
on the longest day in the year
unpleasant to visit
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Thursday 11 June 1663.
Transformative
Up and all the morning helping my wife to put up her things towards her going into the country and drawing the wine out of my vessel to send.
This morning came my cozen Thomas Pepys to desire me to furnish him with some money, which I could not do till his father has wrote to Piggott his consent to the sale of his lands, so by and by we parted and I to the Exchange a while and so home and to dinner, and thence to the Royal Theatre by water, and landing, met with Captain Ferrers his friend, the little man that used to be with him, and he with us, and sat by us while we saw “Love in a Maze.” The play is pretty good, but the life of the play is Lacy’s part, the clown, which is most admirable; but for the rest, which are counted such old and excellent actors, in my life I never heard both men and women so ill pronounce their parts, even to my making myself sick therewith.
Thence, Creed happening to be with us, we four to the Half–Moon Tavern, I buying some sugar and carrying it with me, which we drank with wine and thence to the whay-house, and drank a great deal of whay, and so by water home, and thence to see Sir W. Pen, who is not in much pain, but his legs swell and so immoveable that he cannot stir them, but as they are lifted by other people and I doubt will have another fit of his late pain. Played a little at cards with him and his daughter, who is grown every day a finer and finer lady, and so home to supper and to bed.
When my wife and I came first home we took Ashwell and all the rest below in the cellar with the vintner drawing out my wine, which I blamed Ashwell much for and told her my mind that I would not endure it, nor was it fit for her to make herself equal with the ordinary servants of the house.
going into the country
one could land
in the little life of a clown
for old women
the half moon so moveable
as they play at cards
every day in the cellar
with the wine of the house
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Wednesday 10 June 1663.
It was
the luck of the draw. Fortune you can acknowledge,
as long as it's good. A handful of luck supposedly
brings you more than a sackful of wisdom. Lucky
to be in the right place at the right time, rubbing
elbows with the (right/wrong) people. Then again,
what worse luck could your bad luck have saved
you from? No cat crossed your path, no bathroom
mirror fell and shattered on the floor. Add up all
the numerals in your house number. If the total
is a round number, congratulations. It seems
you made a sound real estate choice. Whereas
one day, the furniture and belongings of the people
who lived three houses down got thrown out on
the curb. Random or not, that was not lucky.
It was
just a joke, wasn't meant to be serious.
Why can't you lighten up, why be so thin-
skinned? It's so unnecessary. Couldn't you
just laugh along, be a good sport? It's just life.
It's the loudest voice that gets to go on stage
under the spotlights. It's the ones that say
they went on their knees and then a vision
opened up of what God intends for them. Amen.
A Destiny made Manifest. It was a skirmish, not
a fullblown war. It was for your own good. You
wouldn't be here now enjoying the four seasons—
summers picking vegetables and fruit, following
the salmon in fall. Jumping trains winter and
spring, in this big country of big, blonde men.

