Lines from August 2005

The song of the katydids always takes me back to previous Augusts… and in August 2005, when I was 39, I began a prolonged backward look with a series of poems in response to the searing and painfully honest poetry of Paul Zweig. At the same time, I was looking forward: getting ready to launch a new webzine, qarrtsiluni, with a small group of blogger-friends. I took a rare trip through the Via Negativa archives just now and found a few lines that still resonate, six years later. It’s sad to read scattered references to comments that are now lost (curse you, Haloscan and Blogger!). But at least the posts remain in all their sincerity, awkwardness, wince-worthy moments and occasionally graceful turns of phrase.

*

I watch water flowing around a large rock, its translucent body a net of shadows as it folds back against itself. After ten minutes or so, I think I might understand something fundamental about water, its impetus to condense, to fall, to plumb the depths. But then I glance just a few feet to the left & am completely flummoxed by a large drift of foam. I had forgotten about tannins.
Two ways at once

Buy my silence: free samples
Words on the Street

Strip. Lay down your overburden, bare your black seam of heat where the shovels can reach it. Let rains tease your acids from the rock.

Strip, stripe of concrete between gas stations & inconvenience stores, chain restaurants, big box stores, motels, each marooned on its own island of tarmac. We are all strangers here, even the natives.

Strip: supposedly comic, unmoving pictures starring the same faces, day after day. We grimace at the punchlines: Neighborhood Grill and Bar, says the Applebee’s sign. Oh, do let’s take a stroll ’round the Village Square!
Blogging from the ninth circle

Late summer of my 40th year, I catch
an echo of my childhood in the nightly
chorus of katydids, their camouflaged
leaf-bodies falling out of & back into unison
like a concert audience that continues its rhythmic
clapping during a break in the music.
The pure distance

Ten-thirty in the small reception area at Scotty’s Discount Tire and Muffler in downtown Summersville, West Virginia (population 3,900). I return from a walk with my umbrella in the on-again, off-again drizzle and find my brother reading a history of India as he waits for news about the car. A small, white-haired lady in the next seat over is singing about Jesus.
They call it Stormy Monday

In the meantime, I have settled
into my body like a stone
at the bottom of a pond.
Written by the vanquished

I dreamed I drove a sprayer truck
slowly along the berm of a road
in prayerful silence.
Green plague

Sky-blue petals in
the wet grass. I crouch down,
my mind blank as a cloud.

Back home, I look it up, chagrined:
forget-me-not.
That great invention

Since I stopped following the news,
my dreams supply all the missing details
of earthquake, torture, & mass starvation.
Ask me anything.
Advancing into sleepless woods

I have planted myself here like
a yellow birch sapling on top of a hemlock stump
that rots away even as the birch encircles it
with an apron of roots, & a hundred
years later it still preserves, unseen,
the hollow shape of the corpse
that gave it life.
What remains

State of Emergency

This entry is part 63 of 93 in the series Morning Porch Poems: Summer 2011

Unfixed from inside a whorl of petals,
the rain-drenched eye of each blossom.

Large as the state of Texas, gestures
the weatherman. The hurricane’s blossom

of jagged exclamations whips across the Bahamas.
Each tree’s reduced to a trembling blossom.

First the fires, then the earthquake, then
promise of torrential rain. All things blossom

in their own time. The evening primrose
leaves turn barn-red. Omen or blossom?

Everyone’s panic-buying. Water and dry food.
Or beer. Someone jokes, Where’s the onion blossom?

Stay or go? Save or shelve? Pictures in a plastic
box. Deeds. The child’s first drawing of a blossom.

 

In response to an entry from the Morning Porch.

In the Convent of Perpetual Adoration

This entry is part 62 of 93 in the series Morning Porch Poems: Summer 2011

In the hills, a chapel painted pink.
Pillars of marbled cream shot through
with faint markings of blue.

Around the clock, always a pair of nuns
prostrate before the altar. Here, intention
is a strip of paper penned by gnarled fingers

in the flickering half-dark, then fed
to the flame. Branches wrestle all night
with the wind, then sigh. A wren

perches on the rim of the rain gutter.
Even on backward knees, I wish I could hold
a hope as fixed and steadfast as that.

 

In response to an entry from the Morning Porch.

Ghost-writing

This entry is part 18 of 20 in the series Highgate Cemetery Poems

Forest with graves

What wound is this of yours
that you should keep worrying it?

I like it. It tastes of tears & soil, like a boiled beet.

These aren’t even your ancestors.

But that’s half the attraction, isn’t it?
It’s like a revolution unfolding on the internet:
close at hand yet comfortably far away.
The anguish. The comradery.

But this city belongs to the dead.

All cities belong to the dead.
This one has more trees than most.
And I love any tourist spot
where the residents stay hidden
& don’t ruin our game of make-believe.

What game is that?

I sit still as a stone until words emerge.
They form themselves into epigrams on my forehead.

How do you win?

Someone lays a piece of slate at my feet.

Acompañamiento

This entry is part 61 of 93 in the series Morning Porch Poems: Summer 2011

Air flecked with blue and gold and green, one soft
grey strip of cloud against which a plane’s silhouette
moves toward a distant airfield. We’re all going

somewhere, aren’t we? Even if we’re huddled
in these rooms in rows of vinyl chairs, or later
packed three deep in an elevator car ascending

or descending through a windowless shaft.
Who could hear the faint hush of crickets
from inside this womb? Who could hear

the chant of cicadas or the rumbling in
the bowels of the earth? The woman pressed
against the wall has earrings in the shape of

coffee cups. All I can think of is you,
and where you are at this moment. The man
in the blue-and-white seersucker suit

presses buttons for all our floors:
nine, eight, seven, six; five,
four, three, two, one.

 

In response to an entry from the Morning Porch.

Typewriting

This entry is part 18 of 20 in the series Poetics and technology
typewriter by Darwin Bell
photo by Darwin Bell (CC BY-NC license) - click to enlarge

Writing is hardly an innocent act. I remember with what force I had to strike the keys of my dad’s old manual typewriter when I was a kid. How the ribbon would rise to the occasion like someone throwing himself between an assailant and his victim, absorbing the blows. And as the ribbon ran dry, how the type would slowly fade, prompting me to pound the keys harder and harder, pummeling the paper, turning the letters into pale, shallow graves.

The first time I used an electric typewriter, it felt like cheating. It was in 4th or 5th Grade. I was typing up a parody of the movie Jaws — “Lips,” which we would later perform in appropriate costume. One of the kids who’d volunteered to help on the play sat and watched my two-finger typing, studying me closely but not saying a word until I was done. “I think I understand how you’re doing that now,” he said. I hadn’t realized until that moment that it was a kind of magic trick.

I took touch typing as an elective in high school, and of course we used nothing but the most modern IBM Selectrics. That was in 1982, I think. But when I started at Penn State two years later, it was nothing but the old manual for me. I figured as long as I had a newish ribbon and a sturdy, erasable bond, that was good enough. And in my own writing, watching a poem take shape letter by letter and word by word… I find myself almost salivating now as I recall the pleasure of that tactile experience. Poems were things that you hammered out by hand, which is perhaps how poets were able to unironically refer to poetry-writing classes as “workshops.” And most lyric poems being fairly short and the look on the page difficult to grasp with too many hand corrections, it was easier to just keep hammering out new drafts. I have a huge file box upstairs filled with nothing but those abandoned prototypes, like the empty larval shells of cicadas. The final drafts sit in a nicer, metal tomb downstairs, beside my writing table. It’s hard to simply throw out a handmade thing.

After we bought the adjacent property here in Plummer’s Hollow in 1992, we had the melancholy task of going through the derelict house where our neighbor Margaret had lived almost until her death the previous year. Among her possessions were three typewriters from her youth in the 1930s or 40s, when she had pursued a secretarial career in New York City. They were huge and black, archaic as ringer washers or Model T Fords. By that time I had switched to a word processor and was happy to have put the typewriter era behind me, so when a friend mentioned he collected typewriters, I passed those machines onto him without a second thought. Now I kind of wish I’d kept one of them as a conversation piece.

Around that same time, I had some people up for a party, and they all had a good laugh at the ancient, hulking, hand-me-down of a PC I was using. It must’ve been at least ten years old! I used WordPerfect 6.0, and only a Courier font because that’s what typing was supposed to look like. A few years later, I finally upgraded and put the old beast out to pasture — literally. I didn’t know then about the heavy metals and other hazardous substances found in circuit boards, cathode ray tubes and the like. So now it sits in a shallow, unmarked grave somewhere out in the goldenrod patch we call a field.


Prompted by Beth’s latest post, “Process,” at the cassandra pages.

Noon Prayer

This entry is part 60 of 93 in the series Morning Porch Poems: Summer 2011

May our burdens lighten, may the day
lift shadows from the ground like leaves
caught in a summer wind, before they

lengthen; may the strip of cheap
colored foil twirling in the branches
bring wings and lost bird voices; may the ant

shouldering a crumb of bread find his way
by dusk; may a hand reaching for something to dip
into a cup of coffee come across the half-moon

floating like an abandoned biscuit in the sky.

 

In response to an entry from the Morning Porch.

The Angel of Confession

This entry is part 17 of 20 in the series Highgate Cemetery Poems

Leprous angel

For touching what wasn’t mine—
even though I didn’t want it,
even though I gave it back—
I lost my fingers.
The press called us demonic
but they, my ten thin fates,
were innocent as fire
in search of fuel, & I
in my disguise as oxygen
couldn’t let them go out.
We shattered windows
to let more world
into those narrow shrines
to whatever. We broke in
aorta by aorta,
cavorting like a virus,
smashing the attenuated
plaster antibodies
in our excess of what
I thought was joy.
How they writhed & curled
in it! How they shook
& shuddered into ash.

Turning

This entry is part 59 of 93 in the series Morning Porch Poems: Summer 2011

Crepe myrtle clumps barely luminous in their sheen,
streaked jacaranda in the aftermath of rain—
Floss of cerise and magenta, ruffled anew in green

arms of trees. The air’s moist; this is how we know
change is coming. Tiny hairs on the nape, antennae
trembling. Stand in the driveway, listen: undertow,

swell of that wave furling. Autumn’s dark boat
has already pushed off. The turquoise sea is laced
with kelp and driftwood. Summer turns its coat

sleeves out, and makes a promise the way you do:
no vows, no witnesses but for a few letters
in the sand. But I row, you row; we both do.

 

In response to an entry from the Morning Porch.

Distance, Then

This entry is part 58 of 93 in the series Morning Porch Poems: Summer 2011

“There are designs that seem like chaos
only because you’re too close.” ~ Dean Young

Move away from the lance-
tipped leaves, admire

the goldenrod shimmer
in the sun like green fish,

but from behind a glass window:
better yet, lower the blinds?

I know what you mean, and yet,
and yet— It’s been years

since a blade of grass
left its covert stroke

on my hand on the path
to home; since clotheslines

sang their load of moisture
on the line, since the plaster

saint with its chipped halo
and faded blue habit raised

its wooden hand in greeting
as I crossed the threshold.

 

In response to an entry from the Morning Porch.