For Withstanding

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
We marvelled at the words
in history books— what galleon
meant; or caravelle, or jump
ship
. Leg shackles, auction,
Middle Passage. Languish or mourn.

Where to find the will to believe
the ancestors have not abandoned us?

How impossible it seemed that often,
only language kept us from completely
disappearing: prayers invoked under
the breath, a ragged thread of song
improbably echoed from across another

field. Communing with the soil's iron dark,
we know incipient life burrows even in

blindness. We make talismans from air
and water, stalks of wheat; from moths
and scarab beetles. Come night owl and omen
bird, crawlers changing color. Water flows
patiently to make its way through rock.

In transit

Sam Pepys and me

(Lord’s day). Waked early, but being in a strange house, did not rise till 7 o’clock almost, and so rose and read over my oaths, and whiled away an hour thinking upon businesses till Will came to get me ready, and so got ready and to my office, and thence to church. After sermon home and dined alone. News is brought me that Sir W. Pen is come. But I would take no notice thereof till after dinner, and then sent him word that I would wait on him, but he is gone to bed. So to my office, and there made my monthly accounts, and find myself worth in money about 686l. 19s. 2½d., for which God be praised.
And indeed greatly I hope to thank Almighty God, who do most manifestly bless me in my endeavours to do the duties of my office, I now saving money, and my expenses being little.
My wife is still in the country; my house all in dirt; but my work in a good forwardness, and will be much to my mind at last.
In the afternoon to church, and there heard a simple sermon of a stranger upon David’s words, “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the way of the ungodly,” &c., and the best of his sermon was the degrees of walking, standing, and sitting, showing how by steps and degrees sinners do grow in wickedness.
After sermon to my brother Tom’s, who I found has taken physic to-day, and I talked with him about his country mistress, and read Cook’s letter, wherein I am well satisfied, and will appear in promoting it; so back and to Mr. Rawlinson’s, and there supped with him, and in came my uncle Wight and my aunt. Our discourse of the discontents that are abroad, among, and by reason of the Presbyters. Some were clapped up to-day, and strict watch is kept in the City by the train-bands, and letters of a plot are taken. God preserve us! for all these things bode very ill. So home, and after going to welcome home Sir W. Pen, who was unready, going to bed, I staid with him a little while, and so to my lodging and to bed.

my word
for god is hope
bless me in my dirt

my work will be
to walk in the way
of the wicked

I take the city train
god preserve us
into my bed


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Sunday 31 August 1662.

Spirit

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
We forget the mystery we come from— 

Sheets of quartz and jade where mountain
deities live, their fingers touching

globes of fruit as they pass to make

them sweeter. Forest spirits in the trees,
conversing late into the night, sometimes

moved to show their faces to the living

as if to remind us they continue to miss
this life. And why would they not?

Appetite is fed by desire, and desire

by knowing the potency of need.
And so we let them be. We ask

their leave when we cross into

the shimmering field— it’s just
there, seemingly out of reach but

really, closer than we think.

Reportage

Sam Pepys and me

Up betimes among my workmen, and so to the office, where we sat all the morning, and at noon rose and had news that Sir W. Pen would be in town from Ireland, which I much wonder at, he giving so little notice of it, and it troubled me exceedingly what to do for a lodging, and more what to do with my goods, that are all in his house; but at last I resolved to let them lie there till Monday, and so got Griffin to get a lodging as near as he could, which is without a door of our back door upon Tower Hill, a chamber where John Davis, one of our clerks, do lie in, but he do provide himself elsewhere, and I am to have his chamber. So at the office all the afternoon and the evening till past 10 at night expecting Sir W. Pen’s coming, but he not coming to-night I went thither and there lay very well, and like my lodging well enough. My man Will after he had got me to bed did go home and lay there, and my maid Jane lay among my goods at Sir W. Pen’s.

no news would be a wonder
giving so little to lie on

a lodging without a door
where I lie in

expecting night
like a good pen


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Saturday 30 August 1662.

When it Rains

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
We sit   in spaces    the dark

Clears for us Breaking soft

tallow off tapers As wind tears through

Our terraced mountains

Avocado and guava trees run out

Of ammunition And moan

their acquiescence Whatever remains

Unshredded in the morning

joins the new day’s litany a prayer

To gods who fall asleep

to the sounds of their own anger.

Collected works

Sam Pepys and me

Up betimes and among my workmen, where I did stay with them the greatest part of the morning, only a little at the office, and so to dinner alone at home, and so to my workmen again, finding my presence to carry on the work both to my mind and with more haste, and I thank God I am pleased with it.
At night, the workmen being gone, I went to my office, and among other businesses did begin to-night with Mr. Lewes to look into the nature of a purser’s account, and the business of victualling, in which there is great variety; but I find I shall understand it, and be able to do service there also. So being weary and chill, being in some fear of an ague, I went home and to bed.

with art alone
to carry my mind

at night I begin
to look into a purse
in which there is great variety

find an ear
a hill
a bed


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Friday 29 August 1662.

Let Linger

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
- after Linda Gregg


Let osprey return to river.
Let avocets with their upturned bills.
Let diablotín masquerade as haunters
in the dark.
Let yellowlegs fish for ghost
crabs, and willets race along the shore.
Let gannets weave their nests like aunts
in widows' caps.
There is time yet and it is what we inhabit,
whether it colors the sky purple
or mends the broken crags with gold.
Let the small grasses sleep
at the edge of the road and not fear
the eye of the storm.

Double vision

Sam Pepys and me

I observe that Will, whom I used to call two or three times in a morning, would now wake of himself and rise without calling. Which though angry I was glad to see. So I rose and among my workmen, in my gown, without a doublet, an hour or two or more, till I was afraid of getting an ague, and so to the office, and there we sat all the morning, and at noon Mr. Coventry and I dined at Sir W. Batten’s, where I have now dined three days together, and so in the afternoon again we sat, which we intend to do two afternoons in a week besides our other sitting.
In the evening we rose, and I to see how my work goes on, and so to my office, writing by the post and doing other matters, and so home and to bed late.

who would rise
without a rose

and work without a double
to do the sitting

the rose goes
on ice

I post other matters


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Thursday 28 August 1662.

Family Practice

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
The clinic we go to was started 
decades ago by two doctors who recently
passed away. But their children continue
to run it, and most of the staff are
Filipino. One of the nurses always
recognizes my voice when I call. One
asks for my opinion about schools when
her son is applying for college. And another
always begins to hum under her breath as soon
as she rests her fingers on my wrists to take
my pulse. The lab technician is so swift
and skilled: she knows exactly where
to stick the needle for a blood draw.
The humming nurse comes back in with
a paper robe. I start to undress when she
leaves the room, but I can still hear some
of the notes she repeats, drifting up
and down and up and down the valley
of some old tenderness or memory.

Four tanka

for Heidi in memoriam

treetops rocking
together   apart
in the wind
the too-early chill
of a cousin’s death

*

curled red tongue
of a fallen leaf caught
by a dead twig
without even trying
if dying is an art

*

losing its bark
a rock oak killed
by spongy moths
given over to fungus
sprouts a golden mane

*

autumn’s here
in orange and yellow
black gum leaves
and this world has one fewer
voice raised in praise