Life time

Sam Pepys and me

Up by four o’clock or a little after, and to my office, whither by and by comes Cooper, to whom I told my getting for him the Reserve, for which he was very thankful, and fell to work upon our modell, and did a good morning’s work upon the rigging, and am very sorry that I must lose him so soon. By and by comes Mr. Coventry, and he and I alone sat at the office all the morning upon business. And so to dinner to Trinity House, and thence by his coach towards White Hall; but there being a stop at the Savoy, we ‘light and took water, and my Lord Sandwich being out of town, we parted there, all the way having good discourse, and in short I find him the most ingenuous person I ever found in my life, and am happy in his acquaintance and my interest in him. Home by water, and did business at my office. Writing a letter to my brother John to dissuade him from being Moderator of his year, which I hear is proffered him, of which I am very glad. By and by comes Cooper, and he and I by candlelight at my modell, being willing to learn as much of him as is possible before he goes.
So home and to bed.

whom to serve
alone at the office
but my own ingenuous life

writing by candlelight
my ode to as much
as possible


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Saturday 9 August 1662.

Fontanel

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
Almost the end of summer, cicadas still 
in the trees and some fallen on the grass—
their trebled hum a veil beneath the growing
moon, which also does what it does without
premeditation. How ardently we look for significance
beyond perception. A weatherman explains
the occurrence of circles in the clouds: millions
of particles in the air will bend the light, and
as that light bends, it makes a perfect ring. I was
a young mother when someone guided my thumb
to the hollow atop my newborn's head, to feel the space
between the bones of the skull where they
had not knit together yet. Even now, I still turn
toward the idea of an opening, some keyhole
through which I can thread my undimmed longing.

Doer

Sam Pepys and me

Up by four o’clock in the morning, and at five by water to Woolwich, there to see the manner of tarring, and all the morning looking to see the several proceedings in making of cordage, and other things relating to that sort of works, much to my satisfaction. At noon came Mr. Coventry on purpose from Hampton Court to see the same, and dined with Mr. Falconer, and after dinner to several experiments of Hemp, and particularly some Milan hemp that is brought over ready dressed.
Thence we walked talking, very good discourse all the way to Greenwich, and I do find most excellent discourse from him. Among other things, his rule of suspecting every man that proposes any thing to him to be a knave; or, at least, to have some ends of his own in it. Being led thereto by the story of Sir John Millicent, that would have had a patent from King James for every man to have had leave to have given him a shilling; and that he might take it of every man that had a mind to give it, and being answered that that was a fair thing, but what needed he a patent for it, and what he would do to them that would not give him. He answered, he would not force them; but that they should come to the Council of State, to give a reason why they would not.
Another rule is a proverb that he hath been taught, which is that a man that cannot sit still in his chamber (the reason of which I did not understand him), and he that cannot say no (that is, that is of so good a nature that he cannot deny any thing, or cross another in doing any thing), is not fit for business. The last of which is a very great fault of mine, which I must amend in.
Thence by boat; I being hot, he put the skirt of his cloak about me; and it being rough, he told me the passage of a Frenchman through London Bridge, where, when he saw the great fall, he begun to cross himself and say his prayers in the greatest fear in the world, and soon as he was over, he swore “Morbleu! c’est le plus grand plaisir du monde,” being the most like a French humour in the world.
To Deptford, and there surprised the Yard, and called them to a muster, and discovered many abuses, which we shall be able to understand hereafter and amend. Thence walked to Redriffe, and so to London Bridge, where I parted with him, and walked home and did a little business, and to supper and to bed.

up by four in the morning
to see the tar of things

work is the answer
for a man that cannot sit still

cannot say no cannot cross
himself like a bridge


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Friday 8 August 1662.

Watch

Sam Pepys and me

Up by four o’clock and to my office, and by and by Mr. Cooper comes and to our modell, which pleases me more and more. At this till 8 o’clock, and so we sat in the office and staid all the morning, my interest still growing, for which God be praised. This morning I got unexpectedly the Reserve for Mr. Cooper to be maister of, which was only by taking an opportune time to motion [it], which is one good effect of my being constant at the office, that nothing passes without me; and I have the choice of my own time to propose anything I would have. Dined at home, and to the office again at my business all the afternoon till night, and so to supper and to bed. It being become a pleasure to me now-a-days to follow my business, and the greatest part may be imputed to my drinking no wine, and going to no plays.

my clock is
the only tune
time passes
without me
all night now
and no wine


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Thursday 7 August 1662.

Off-kilter

Sam Pepys and me

Up early, and, going to my office, met Sir G. Carteret in coming through the yard, and so walked a good while talking with him about Sir W. Batten, and find that he is going down the wind in every body’s esteem, and in that of his honesty by this letter that he wrote to Captn. Allen concerning Alderman Barker’s hemp. Thence by water to White Hall; and so to St. James’s; but there found Mr. Coventry gone to Hampton Court. So to my Lord’s; and he is also gone: this being a great day at the Council about some business at the Council before the King. Here I met with Mr. Pierce, the chyrurgeon, who told me how Mr. Edward Montagu hath lately had a duell with Mr. Cholmely, that is first gentleman-usher to the Queen, and was a messenger from the King to her in Portugall, and is a fine gentleman; but had received many affronts from Mr. Montagu, and some unkindness from my Lord, upon his score (for which I am sorry). He proved too hard for Montagu, and drove him so far backward that he fell into a ditch, and dropt his sword, but with honour would take no advantage over him; but did give him his life: and the world says Mr. Montagu did carry himself very poorly in the business, and hath lost his honour for ever with all people in it, of which I am very glad, in hopes that it will humble him. I hear also that he hath sent to my Lord to borrow 400l., giving his brother Harvey’s security for it, and that my Lord will lend it him, for which I am sorry.
Thence home, and at my office all the morning, and dined at home, and can hardly keep myself from having a mind to my wench, but I hope I shall not fall to such a shame to myself. All the afternoon also at my office, and did business. In the evening came Mr. Bland the merchant to me, who has lived long in Spain, and is concerned in the business of Tangier, who did discourse with me largely of it, and after he was gone did send me three or four printed things that he hath wrote of trade in general and of Tangier particularly, but I do not find much in them. This afternoon Mr. Waith was with me, and did tell me much concerning the Chest, which I am resolved to look into; and I perceive he is sensible of Sir W. Batten’s carriage; and is pleased to see any thing work against him. Who, poor man, is, I perceive, much troubled, and did yesterday morning walk in the garden with me, did tell me he did see there was a design of bringing another man in his room, and took notice of my sorting myself with others, and that we did business by ourselves without him. Part of which is true, but I denied, and truly, any design of doing him any such wrong as that. He told me he did not say it particularly of me, but he was confident there was somebody intended to be brought in, nay, that the trayne was laid before Sir W. Pen went, which I was glad to hear him say. Upon the whole I see he perceives himself tottering, and that he is suspected, and would be kind to me, but I do my business in the office and neglect him.
At night writing in my study a mouse ran over my table, which I shut up fast under my shelf’s upon my table till to-morrow, and so home and to bed.

the body’s honesty
is all gone to war

that backward world
poor and lost

giving into the ringing
in my ear I totter

I would be the mouse
under my bed


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Wednesday 6 August 1662.

Today Years Old

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
There are so many things we're just
discovering, so many things we didn't
learn when supposedly we should have.

For example: that sharks have no bones
(only cartilage), but that giraffes and
humans have the same number of neck bones.

That jellyfish are practically immortal,
and some species of snails can hibernate
for up to three years. That goats

have excellent panoramic vision
because of rectangular pupils, and
Chuck E. Cheese's full name is Charles

Entertainment Cheese. Whether or not
it's useful to know that on average,
you fart enough times a day to inflate

a party balloon, now you do. It's sort of
like the discovery of simple machines: now
you can't imagine how you got on

without them. Gravity pulled the apple
out of the tree— but before its discovery,
humans and other creatures did not fly.

Olfactory

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
When I'm changing the liner of the trash bins 
or sanitizing the counter with a wipe premoistened
with plant-derived essential oils, I remember
the part in Lorca where he describes how duende
arrives as a wind gusting through the empty archway
then something about the smell of a child's saliva,
crushed grass, and medusa's veil. How to explain
why this leads to a memory of how in childhood,
we tried as much as possible not to use the toilets
in our elementary school? No running water, no paper
towels, flies buzzing at the half-opened windows—
hard to keep it in when you're always hot and thirsty
after recess. In the neighborhood, there was a woman
who gave music lessons; she spoke English haltingly
and always smelled of old lace and Valda Pastilles.
The smell of charred meat wafts over the fence
from someone's grill. I like the smell of heat and rain
mingled together, just as it falls on parched earth.

Orbit

Sam Pepys and me

got right again with much ado, after two or three circles and so on, and at Greenwich set in Captain Cocke, and I set forward, hailing to all the King’s ships at Deptford, but could not wake any man: so that we could have done what we would with their ships. At last waked one man; but it was a merchant ship, the Royall Catharine: so to the Towerdock and home, where the girl sat up for me. It was about three o’clock, and putting Mr. Boddam out of my bed, went to bed, and lay till nine o’clock, and so to the office, where we sat all the morning, and I did give some accounts of my service. Dined alone at home, and was glad my house is begun tiling. And to the office again all the afternoon, till it was so dark that I could not see hardly what it is that I now set down when I write this word, and so went to my chamber and to bed, being sleepy.

got right again
after two or three circles

a war could not wake me
a gun could not see

what it is that I now
write in sleep


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Tuesday 5 August 1662.

Plenty

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
"But everyone shall sit under his vine 
and under his fig tree, And no one
shall make them afraid..."
~ Micah 4: 4



I text Joel, the man who cuts our grass every two
or three weeks, to ask what day he thinks he'll make it

to the neighborhood. And I add, the figs are ripe, help
yourself. Yesterday, Mark comes to fix the side gate

which has been leaning away from the post so much,
the latch can't catch anymore. His wife Simone

is with him. Sometimes she helps out, like the time
they both wielded foam rollers to re-stain the back deck.

I tell them as well to help themselves to the fruit—
so many wine-red, winking globes on the branches,

the lower ones so laden their leaves touch the ground.
When Mark has packed all the tools away, Simone is still

filling a grocery bag. Blessed tree! she exclaims.
And it's true. Horned beetles cluster around fruit

at the top, softened almost to pulp in the heat.
When the insects have had their fill, they reel

around for a bit, stoned from all that sugar.
Then they fly as if straight up to the sun.