We write messages, put them in bottles,
cast them into space. We curate what we think
is the best of us, or the most representative
of us. Music played by symphonies, the one-
note hum of a sitar, a shimmering copper
chorus of gongs, the mellow voices of poets.
Laughter, rain and foghorns; animal calls,
greetings in 55 languages. Who even knows
when or whether or not future beings
will examine our artifacts? By then,
the oceans will long have forgotten
our names and continents crumbled
in the depths like soggy croutons. Still,
we are in love with the idea that beauty
will somehow outlast the void,
that a billion light years from now,
something of us might survive, even
if only as a chord in the dust of space.
Equestrian
…and to that purpose I lay long talking with my wife about my father’s coming, which I expect to-day, coming up with the horses brought up for my Lord. Up and to my office, where doing business all the morning, and at Sir W. Batten’s, whither Mr. Gauden and many others came to us about business. Then home to dinner, where W. Joyce came, and he still a talking impertinent fellow. So to the office again, and hearing by and by that Madam Clerke, Pierce, and others were come to see my wife I stepped in and staid a little with them, and so to the office again, where late, and so home to supper and to bed.
with her horses
all the morning
a joy still
in her step at supper
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Tuesday 31 March 1663.
Petard
Up betimes and found my weather-glass sunk again just to the same position which it was last night before I had any fire made in my chamber, which had made it rise in two hours time above half a degree. So to my office where all the morning and at the Glass–house, and after dinner by coach with Sir W. Pen I carried my wife and her woman to Westminster, they to visit Mrs. Ferrers and Clerke, we to the Duke, where we did our usual business, and afterwards to the Tangier Committee, where among other things we all of us sealed and signed the Contract for building the Mole with my Lord Tiviott, Sir J. Lawson, and Mr. Cholmeley. A thing I did with a very ill will, because a thing which I did not at all understand, nor any or few of the whole board. We did also read over the propositions for the Civill government and Law Merchant of the town, as they were agreed on this morning at the Glasshouse by Sir R. Ford and Sir W. Rider, who drew them, Mr. Povy and myself as a Committee appointed to prepare them, which were in substance but not in the manner of executing them independent wholly upon the Governor consenting to.
Thence to see my Lord Sandwich, who I found very merry and every day better and better. So to my wife, who waited my coming at my Lord’s lodgings, and took her up and by coach home, where no sooner come but to bed, finding myself just in the same condition I was lately by the extreme cold weather, my pores stopt and so my body all inflamed and itching. So keeping myself warm and provoking myself to a moderate sweat, and so somewhat better in the morning…
we fire off
in a glass house
visit our usual war
on a mole in a hole
but who who who took up
the same flame
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Monday 30 March 1663.
Portrait of the Body with Eros and Lanternfish
A friend said being married
isn't hard— it's maintaining eros
that's challenging. I try to remember
if eros ever held a glitter gun in one
hand and a champagne flute in the other.
Back then, eros seemed to think love
always needed to be boldly announced,
leave a hot imprint in hotel sheets
in the middle of a weekday, pass
a sweet from its mouth to another's.
Now, after kids and a mortgage,
we've swapped flaming saganakis
for cheese sandwiches at work,
survive with coffee and Power-
Points. We've learned it takes
work for anything, including
desire. It takes work to keep
a surface fabulous, a system
running at peak efficiency.
Down in the murky depths
where lanternfish live, sparkle
and glow aren't just embellishment
or distraction: their bioluminescence
helps them blend in with the shimmer
of water hit by sunlight. But yes,
the extra rows of photophores
embedded in their bellies are also
for romance, for signaling to
potential mates in the dark—
eros saying Hey, I'm stll
here, it's still me.
Dust to dust
(Lord’s day). Waked as I used to do betimes, but being Sunday and very cold I lay long, it raining and snowing very hard, which I did never think it would have done any more this year.
Up and to church, home to dinner. After dinner in comes Mr. Moore, and sat and talked with us a good while; among other things telling me, that my Lord nor he are under apprehensions of the late discourse in the House of Commons, concerning resumption of Crowne lands, which I am very glad of.
He being gone, up to my chamber, where my wife and Ashwell and I all the afternoon talking and laughing, and by and by I a while to my office, reading over some papers which I found in my man William’s chest of drawers, among others some old precedents concerning the practice of this office heretofore, which I am glad to find and shall make use of, among others an oath, which the Principal Officers were bound to swear at their entrance into their offices, which I would be glad were in use still.
So home and fell hard to make up my monthly accounts, letting my family go to bed after prayers. I staid up long, and find myself, as I think, fully worth 670l.. So with good comfort to bed, finding that though it be but little, yet I do get ground every month. I pray God it may continue so with me.
Sunday snow
on the crow of ash
I found
I swear hard
letting prayer go
to ground
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Sunday 29 March 1663.
Between the Fantail Shrimp and Sea Cucumber
At the table next to us in the dim
sum restaurant, there's a young couple
out on a date. They lean over the menus
and toward each other, as if bringing
their heads closer will help toward
consensus. She's cute and dimpled:
hoop earrings, high ponytail bobbing
like a friendly otter. Aura confident
as the lilt in her voice. Two smiling,
long-haired waiters circle the table: they
went to school with the girl. She claps
her hands at their excellent suggestions—
fantail shrimp, black mushrooms with sea
cucumber; pan-fried noodles, turnip cake.
They flirt, knowing exactly what they're
doing, while the boyfriend laughs politely
and nods his head. Carts rattle past
like vessels bearing miracles from other
worlds. We dip dumplings into pools of chili
oil, ears bent to banter and conversation,
knowing full well the performance of desire
loves an audience. Some of us are struck
with recognition, some pretend this
has nothing to do with us at all.
Walking it back
Up betimes and to my office, where all the morning. Dined at home and Creed with me, and though a very cold day and high wind, yet I took him by land to Deptford, my common walk, where I did some little businesses, and so home again walking both forwards and backwards, as much along the street as we could to save going by water.
So home, and after being a little while hearing Ashwell play on the tryangle, to my office, and there late, writing a chiding letter — to my poor father about his being so unwilling to come to an account with me, which I desire he might do, that I may know what he spends, and how to order the estate so as to pay debts and legacys as far as may be. So late home to supper and to bed.
in high wind I took
my common walk
walking backwards
the street going by me
so I might know
what ends up
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Saturday 28 March 1663.
On Nosebleeds
Even if under the surface there's always
a lot going on, my friends insist I look
so zen— like a buddha who's trascended
this vale of suffering, another quips.
Which I reject, because even if the buddha
may have reincarnated into this form— my form—
the fact that I'm still here means that I'm
nowhere near nirvana. If I've managed to exude
a semblance of calm, perhaps it's because
I had a little bit of early training. For instance,
I got nosebleeds every day until I reached third
grade: the sudden jets of blood, the bright taste
of copper in my throat in the middle of reading,
adding, or listening. Someone would pinch
the bridge of my nose with a wad of paper towel,
and take me to the principal's office so I wouldn't
disturb the classroom lesson. The surprise
of the first time lapses a little more into
the ordinary after each repetition. One day
something spills down the front of your white
blouse, and each day after you learn how
to manage. Adulthood is pretty much a long
practice in composure— learning to lean
forward a little bit without panicking,
until something in the body rights itself
and the frightening gush peters out,
after which you clean up the mess.
State of the union
Up betimes and at my office all the morning, at noon to the Exchange, and there by appointment met my uncles Thomas and Wight, and from thence with them to a tavern, and there paid my uncle Wight three pieces of gold for himself, my aunt, and their son that is dead, left by my uncle Robert, and read over our agreement with my uncle Thomas and the state of our debts and legacies, and so good friendship I think is made up between us all, only we have the worst of it in having so much money to pay. Thence I to the Exchequer again, and thence with Creed into Fleet Street, and calling at several places about business; in passing, at the Hercules pillars he and I dined though late, and thence with one that we found there, a friend of Captain Ferrers I used to meet at the playhouse, they would have gone to some gameing house, but I would not but parted, and staying a little in Paul’s Churchyard, at the foreign Bookseller’s looking over some Spanish books, and with much ado keeping myself from laying out money there, as also with them, being willing enough to have gone to some idle house with them, I got home, and after a while at my office, to supper, and to bed.
ice all morning
by appointment
with the dead
the state of our debts
is made up
between us all
we have the worst
having so much
as a pillar of the playhouse
in church a foreign book
with much ado
laying out supper
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Friday 27 March 1663.
Collective
A smack of jellyfish drifts in
on the tide, translucent and pulsing
but never second-guessing what they are
or what they can do. A crash of rhinos
doesn't tiptoe through life. A murmuration
of starlings is hundreds of bodies swerving
and dispersing at the same time with no
script. Can we be as a flock, move
seamlessly both alone and when we gather?
A murder of crows rises above the trash
bins in the parking lot. We blunder and
snipe, hide our thoughts from ourselves
and each other. And at night, a parliament
of owls passes judgment from on high.

