The man who cuts our grass every two weeks likes to stop
and chat in the middle of mowing. This week, he pushed
his headphones down to his neck because he wanted to talk
about the book he's reading and can't seem to put down:
histories of wartime in the Pacific, including the Japanese
occupation of my country. He's stupefied by the record
of atrocity after atrocity: young girls herded off to become
comfort women, babies shishkebobed by bayonets for being
in the way of advance. When we say back then, supposedly
we mean golden years we might look at with present-day
nostalgia. But histories of brokenness and violence keep
coming back, weeds wanting to overtake any good
growth. Yesterday, a man stood in a court of law and said
a president, just because he was president, could assasinate
his political rival and be immune from prosecution.
And yesterday, there was a moment when I could not
seem to tell anymore where the unassailable sadness
of this world and my personal sorrows begin,
and where they end. But you gave me
a kiss of such simple tenderness it made me weep.
Table for one
At the office all the morning, and at noon dined by myself at home on a piece of meat from the cook’s.
And so at home all the afternoon with my workmen, and at night to bed, having some thoughts to order my business so as to go to Portsmouth the next week with Sir Robert Slingsby.
off by myself
a piece of meat
from a meal
with my work
having some thoughts
to mouth
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Friday 26 April 1661.
Self Portrait with Hard-to-Finish Book
I go through the motions again: fill
a recycling bag with outworn clothing,
pack old books for donating. I hear
women my age talk about the ways
they are also purging—this word they use,
as though talking about having eaten
too much then feeling nauseous or
bloated. Often, my hand hovers, uncertain
of whether I can expend without remorse.
I waver. Which tells me I'm not really ready
to leave what clearly I can't take with me,
behind. Make hay, seize the day, eat cake;
use the good china, the real silverware—
because one day water or the burning sun
will take everything away. And yet I want to play
with color on paper, touch some sheen to my
cheeks. I try to mend pages of brittle paper
in a yellowed book while letting weeds in the garden
have their way. Don't you also want to turn the pages
more slowly, so you don't come to the end so soon?
Listening post
All the morning with my workmen with great pleasure to see them near coming to an end. At noon Mr. Moore and I went to an Ordinary at the King’s Head in Towre Street, and there had a dirty dinner. Afterwards home and having done some business with him, in comes Mr. Sheply and Pierce the surgeon, and they and I to the Mitre and there staid a while and drank, and so home and after a little reading to bed.
in my great ear
ordinary dirt
war and sin
and the urge to rest
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Thursday 25 April 1661.
I Keep Going Back
I keep going back
to the afternoon I left;
that last time, most recently—
with the rain having lifted after a week's
relentlessness. Mere hours later, during
my layover, I read on my phone about how
a plume of volcanic smoke shot up
into the sky from that perfect cone,
shutting all airports down and causing
evacuations from every little town
in the foothills. I didn't think any of this
could be a sign or an omen—not even when,
country by country, the virus-stricken world
shut down. Before all this, we could still
think of ourselves as spores, scattered
to the far reaches but trailing the paths
we'd taken like filaments tethered to
the same port. Today, I don't know
anymore where it is I waver, what for
this silence laps like a constant ocean
wherever I touch down, an island.
Preparations
Waked in the morning with my head in a sad taking through the last night’s drink, which I am very sorry for; so rose and went out with Mr. Creed to drink our morning draft, which he did give me in chocolate to settle my stomach. And after that I to my wife, who lay with Mrs. Frankelyn at the next door to Mrs. Hunt’s.
And they were ready, and so I took them up in a coach, and carried the ladies to Paul’s, and there set her down, and so my wife and I home, and I to the office.
That being done my wife and I went to dinner to Sir W. Batten, and all our talk about the happy conclusion of these last solemnities.
After dinner home, and advised with my wife about ordering things in my house, and then she went away to my father’s to lie, and I staid with my workmen, who do please me very well with their work.
At night, set myself to write down these three days’ diary, and while I am about it, I hear the noise of the chambers, and other things of the fire-works, which are now playing upon the Thames before the King; and I wish myself with them, being sorry not to see them.
So to bed.
taking the night’s chocolate
to settle my stomach
my wife and I off
to our solemnities
to lie without noise
playing on a wish
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Wednesday 24 April 1661.
First Gifts
The first gift is a fruit picked from the field,
its heart kept safe by a hundred guards.
The first gift is a stone polished clean
in river water, fit for the hollow of a palm.
The first gift is a spangle of frost announcing
winter has arrived, or has never left.
What is the length of time such a gift
can last or be kept?
The first gift widens the gate and feeds
the animal at the threshold.
After receiving the first gift, the tumult of others
can pelt you as hard or as tender as rain.
Executioner
Coronacian day.
… about 4 I rose and got to the Abbey, where I followed Sir J. Denham, the Surveyor, with some company that he was leading in. And with much ado, by the favour of Mr. Cooper, his man, did get up into a great scaffold across the North end of the Abbey, where with a great deal of patience I sat from past 4 till 11 before the King came in. And a great pleasure it was to see the Abbey raised in the middle, all covered with red, and a throne (that is a chair) and footstool on the top of it; and all the officers of all kinds, so much as the very fidlers, in red vests.
At last comes in the Dean and Prebends of Westminster, with the Bishops (many of them in cloth of gold copes), and after them the Nobility, all in their Parliament robes, which was a most magnificent sight. Then the Duke, and the King with a scepter (carried by my Lord Sandwich) and sword and mond before him, and the crown too.
The King in his robes, bare–headed, which was very fine. And after all had placed themselves, there was a sermon and the service; and then in the Quire at the high altar, the King passed through all the ceremonies of the Coronacon, which to my great grief I and most in the Abbey could not see. The crown being put upon his head, a great shout begun, and he came forth to the throne, and there passed more ceremonies: as taking the oath, and having things read to him by the Bishop; and his lords (who put on their caps as soon as the King put on his crown) and bishops come, and kneeled before him.
And three times the King at Arms went to the three open places on the scaffold, and proclaimed, that if any one could show any reason why Charles Stewart should not be King of England, that now he should come and speak.
And a Generall Pardon also was read by the Lord Chancellor, and meddalls flung up and down by my Lord Cornwallis, of silver, but I could not come by any.
But so great a noise that I could make but little of the musique; and indeed, it was lost to every body. But I had so great a list to pisse, that I went out a little while before the King had done all his ceremonies, and went round the Abbey to Westminster Hall, all the way within rayles, and 10,000 people, with the ground covered with blue cloth; and scaffolds all the way. Into the Hall I got, where it was very fine with hangings and scaffolds one upon another full of brave ladies; and my wife in one little one, on the right hand.
Here I staid walking up and down, and at last upon one of the side stalls I stood and saw the King come in with all the persons (but the soldiers) that were yesterday in the cavalcade; and a most pleasant sight it was to see them in their several robes. And the King came in with his crown on, and his sceptre in his hand, under a canopy borne up by six silver staves, carried by Barons of the Cinque Ports, and little bells at every end.
And after a long time, he got up to the farther end, and all set themselves down at their several tables; and that was also a brave sight: and the King’s first course carried up by the Knights of the Bath. And many fine ceremonies there was of the Heralds leading up people before him, and bowing; and my Lord of Albemarle’s going to the kitchin and eat a bit of the first dish that was to go to the King’s table.
But, above all, was these three Lords, Northumberland, and Suffolk, and the Duke of Ormond, coming before the courses on horseback, and staying so all dinner-time, and at last to bring up the King’s Champion, all in armour on horseback, with his spear and targett carried before him. And a Herald proclaims “That if any dare deny Charles Stewart to be lawful King of England, here was a Champion that would fight with him;” and with these words, the Champion flings down his gauntlet, and all this he do three times in his going up towards the King’s table. At last when he is come, the King drinks to him, and then sends him the cup which is of gold, and he drinks it off, and then rides back again with the cup in his hand.
I went from table to table to see the Bishops and all others at their dinner, and was infinitely pleased with it. And at the Lords’ table, I met with William Howe, and he spoke to my Lord for me, and he did give me four rabbits and a pullet, and so I got it and Mr. Creed and I got Mr. Michell to give us some bread, and so we at a stall eat it, as every body else did what they could get.
I took a great deal of pleasure to go up and down, and look upon the ladies, and to hear the musique of all sorts, but above all, the 24 violins.
About six at night they had dined, and I went up to my wife, and there met with a pretty lady (Mrs. Frankleyn, a Doctor’s wife, a friend of Mr. Bowyer’s), and kissed them both, and by and by took them down to Mr. Bowyer’s. And strange it is to think, that these two days have held up fair till now that all is done, and the King gone out of the Hall; and then it fell a-raining and thundering and lightening as I have not seen it do for some years: which people did take great notice of; God’s blessing of the work of these two days, which is a foolery to take too much notice of such things.
I observed little disorder in all this, but only the King’s footmen had got hold of the canopy, and would keep it from the Barons of the Cinque Ports, which they endeavoured to force from them again, but could not do it till my Lord Duke of Albemarle caused it to be put into Sir R. Pye’s hand till tomorrow to be decided.
At Mr. Bowyer’s, a great deal of company, some I knew, others I did not. Here we staid upon the leads and below till it was late, expecting to see the fire-works, but they were not performed to-night: only the City had a light like a glory round about it with bonfires.
At last I went to Kingstreet, and there sent Crockford to my father’s and my house, to tell them I could not come home tonight, because of the dirt, and a coach could not be had.
And so after drinking a pot of ale alone at Mrs. Harper’s I returned to Mr. Bowyer’s, and after a little stay more I took my wife and Mrs. Frankleyn (who I proffered the civility of lying with my wife at Mrs. Hunt’s to-night) to Axe-yard, in which at the further end there were three great bonfires, and a great many great gallants, men and women; and they laid hold of us, and would have us drink the King’s health upon our knees, kneeling upon a faggot, which we all did, they drinking to us one after another. Which we thought a strange frolique; but these gallants continued thus a great while, and I wondered to see how the ladies did tipple.
At last I sent my wife and her bedfellow to bed, and Mr. Hunt and I went in with Mr. Thornbury (who did give the company all their wine, he being yeoman of the wine–cellar to the King) to his house; and there, with his wife and two of his sisters, and some gallant sparks that were there, we drank the King’s health, and nothing else, till one of the gentlemen fell down stark drunk, and there lay spewing; and I went to my Lord’s pretty well. But no sooner a-bed with Mr. Shepley but my head began to hum, and I to vomit, and if ever I was foxed it was now, which I cannot say yet, because I fell asleep and slept till morning. Only when I waked I found myself wet with my spewing. Thus did the day end with joy every where; and blessed be God, I have not heard of any mischance to any body through it all, but only to Serjt. Glynne, whose horse fell upon him yesterday, and is like to kill him, which people do please themselves to see how just God is to punish the rogue at such a time as this; he being now one of the King’s Serjeants, and rode in the cavalcade with Maynard, to whom people wish the same fortune.
There was also this night in King-street, [a woman] had her eye put out by a boy’s flinging a firebrand into the coach.
Now, after all this, I can say that, besides the pleasure of the sight of these glorious things, I may now shut my eyes against any other objects, nor for the future trouble myself to see things of state and show, as being sure never to see the like again in this world.
on the scaffold
one red word
a bare head
at the altar of grief
I kneel before the lost body
piss on the ground
*
brave soldiers
under a bell
their first drink
is to the infinite
give us some bread
and the music of rain
*
fire on the light
fire on further thought
all to bury
in a wine cellar
my head began to hum
and I to vomit
*
sleep like an eye
put out by a firebrand
shut against any
other world
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Tuesday 23 April 1661.
Poetry Blog Digest 2024, Week 16
A personal selection of posts from the Poetry Blogging Network and beyond. Although I tend to quote my favorite bits, please do click through and read the whole posts. You can also browse the blog digest archive, subscribe to its RSS feed in your favorite feed reader, or, if you’d like it in your inbox, subscribe on Substack.
This week: a wasp’s heart, rearranging the ghosts, the language of cicadas, empires of the everyday, losing the moon and more. Enjoy.
Continue reading “Poetry Blog Digest 2024, Week 16”Cornered
(translation from Filipino of Rebecca Añonuevo's "Sulok;" from Pananahan:
Mga Tula, Talingdao Publishing House, 1999)
One morning, I woke myself with a question:
for whom and what for am I living?
and at once it seemed the loneliest
question for which I had no immediate answer.
The clock above my head pulses
to mete out the hours,
to wake
those like me from sleep
or those pretending to be asleep.
The spoon and fork
lie on the table within reach
of anyone who wants to eat,
to help them eat
(unless the table gapes from hunger
and from being lashed by sunlight).
The fan, the lights, the earthenware stove,
the flourishing orchids
outside the house,
our house,
the store at the end of the street,
my mother who wakes
and sleeps in order to cook and do laundry,
my father who likes listening
and butting into the stories
my sisters and I share,
the barangay captain,
the newly constructed waiting shed,
the new day after a hurricane
which once again sank a large boat,
the cheerfulness of Sinatra songs
I played over and over
last night in the hope I could keep
hope alive,
the church and market and plaza,
the man on the cross,
the beggar sprawled face down
on the cold and hot cement,
the farmers and widows,
my countrymen who work
in other lands,
the children singing and dancing
and going to school,
the soldier, the revolutionary,
the priest, the teacher, the poet,
the lovers—
all of them who know
what their living is for.
I wish I could pretend,
stroke my breast
and with a confident voice
offer a profound answer
to elicit a public ovation.
I don't envy everyone
for what they know
and the wisdom they have.
Why do moments like these arrive
unasked for, and yet you wade in solitude,
dark and gloomy desolation,
the kind you hide from the world
so no one suspects,
its cry
that of a child you'll muzzle
and press to your breast
until it stops breathing.



