Changeable

Up, pretty well, the weather being become pretty warm again, and to the office, where we sat all the morning, and I confess having received so lately a token from Mrs. Russell, I did find myself concerned for our not buying some tallow of her (which she bought on purpose yesterday most unadvisedly to her great losse upon confidence of putting it off to us). So hard it is for a man not to be warped against his duty and master’s interest that receives any bribe or present, though not as a bribe, from any body else. But she must be contented, and I to do her a good turn when I can without wrong to the King’s service.
Then home to dinner (and did drink a glass of wine and beer, the more for joy that this is the shortest day in the year, which is a pleasant consideration) with my wife. She in bed but pretty well, and having a messenger from my brother, that he is not well nor stirs out of doors, I went forth to see him, and found him below, he has not been well, but is not ill. I found him taking order for the distribution of Mrs. Ramsey’s coals, a thing my father for many years did, and now he after him, which I was glad to see, as also to hear that Mr. Wheatly begins to look after him. I hope it is about his daughter.
Thence to St. Paul’s Church Yard, to my bookseller’s, and having gained this day in the office by my stationer’s bill to the King about 40s. or 3l., I did here sit two or three hours calling for twenty books to lay this money out upon, and found myself at a great losse where to choose, and do see how my nature would gladly return to laying out money in this trade. I could not tell whether to lay out my money for books of pleasure, as plays, which my nature was most earnest in; but at last, after seeing Chaucer, Dugdale’s History of Paul’s, Stows London, Gesner, History of Trent, besides Shakespeare, Jonson, and Beaumont’s plays, I at last chose Dr. Fuller’s Worthys, the Cabbala or Collections of Letters of State, and a little book, Delices de Hollande, with another little book or two, all of good use or serious pleasure: and Hudibras, both parts, the book now in greatest fashion for drollery, though I cannot, I confess, see enough where the wit lies. My mind being thus settled, I went by linke home, and so to my office, and to read in Rushworth; and so home to supper and to bed.
Calling at Wotton’s, my shoemaker’s, today, he tells me that Sir H. Wright is dying; and that Harris is come to the Duke’s house again; and of a rare play to be acted this week of Sir William Davenant’s: the story of Henry the Eighth with all his wives.

the weather must turn
and stir doors in the wheat

my book of hours would gladly turn
into Kabbalah

serious as art the fashion
for dying again


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Thursday 10 December 1663.

Self-preservation

Lay very long in bed for fear of my pain, and then rose and went to stool (after my wife’s way, who by all means would have me sit long and upright) very well, and being ready to the office. From thence I was called by and by to my wife, she not being well. So to her, and found her in great pain of those. So by and by to my office again, and then abroad to look out a cradle to burn charcoal in at my office, and I found one to my mind in Newgate Market, and so meeting Hoby’s man in the street, I spoke to him to serve it in to the office for the King. So home to dinner, and after talk with my wife, she in bed and pain all day, I to my office most of the evening, and then home to my wife. This day Mrs. Russell did give my wife a very fine St. George, in alabaster, which will set out my wife’s closett mightily.
This evening at the office, after I had wrote my day’s passages, there came to me my cozen Angier of Cambridge, poor man, making his moan, and obtained of me that I would send his son to sea as a Reformado, which I will take care to do. But to see how apt every man is to forget friendship in time of adversity. How glad was I when he was gone, for fear he should ask me to be bond for him, or to borrow money of me.

who would sit in a cradle
burn coal in the street
or talk with an alabaster sage

a poor man making his moan
would send his son to sea

but see how apt every man is
to forget time


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Wednesday 9 December 1663.

Basso continuo

What’s that hum? I sometimes ask
in the after-hours, when the dishes
have been put away and the shades
have all been pulled down.
It’s only the refrigerator, my husband
will say. Or It’s the heater.
When we sat in the dark for two nights
during the last hurricane, every violent
pass of wind through the pine trees
and the ancient gum was premonitory.
I barely slept for imagining the knot
of roots at the base of the largest tree
coming loose in the sodden ground,
then the sickening sound of limbs
crashing through the roof. Flashlights
barely pierced the ragged gloom.
Our neighbor offered use of the generator
in her garage. But the power came back on
just as she tossed the extension cord
over the fence. We never took
anything out of the freezer, and only
the ice cubes melted in the tray.
We went to bed after checking each room
for leaks and resetting the clocks
in each little appliance. They only blinked,
and did not tick. Climbing under the covers,
I heard the low note of a foghorn
in the distance; and closer, the less
audible beat of my pulse settling back
into its rhythm, after answering
to so many anxious cues to improvise.

Conservatives

Lay long in bed, and then up and to the office, where we sat all the morning, and among other things my Lord Barkely called in question his clerk Mr. Davy for something which Sir W. Batten and I did tell him yesterday, but I endeavoured to make the least of it, and so all was put up.
At noon to the ‘Change, and among other businesses did discourse with Captain Taylor, and I think I shall safely get 20l. by his ship’s freight at present, besides what it may be I may get hereafter.
So home to dinner, and thence by coach to White Hall, where a great while walked with my Lord Tiviott, whom I find a most carefull, thoughtfull, and cunning man, as I also ever took him to be. He is this day bringing in an account where he makes the King debtor to him 10,000l. already on the garrison of Tangier account; but yet demands not ready money to pay it, but offers such ways of paying it out of the sale of old decayed provisions as will enrich him finely.
Anon came my Lord Sandwich, and then we fell to our business at the Committee about my Lord Tiviott’s accounts, wherein I took occasion to speak now and then, so as my Lord Sandwich did well seem to like of it, and after we were up did bid me good night in a tone that, methinks, he is not so displeased with me as I did doubt he is; however, I will take a course to know whether he be or no.
The Committee done, I took coach and home to my office, and there late, and so to supper at home, and to bed, being doubtful of my pain through the very cold weather which we have, but I will take all the care I can to prevent it.

we question the least change
careful as a king to a garrison

the sale of decayed visions
will enrich us

like ink leased
to the committee on the weather


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Tuesday 8 December 1663.

Cold

One after another
they go quietly under:
the little-stemmed,
tender-skinned, the soft
blue and broad-leaved
remainders of summer.
I walk past each plot,
dig my hands deep
into my pockets.
In the river’s folds,
the fish burrow deeper.

In extremis

Up betimes, and, it being a frosty morning, walked on foot to White Hall, but not without some fear of my pain coming. At White Hall I hear and find that there was the last night the greatest tide that ever was remembered in England to have been in this river: all White Hall having been drowned, of which there was great discourse.
Anon we all met, and up with the Duke and did our business, and by and by my Lord of Sandwich came in, but whether it be my doubt or no I cannot tell, but I do not find that he made any sign of kindnesse or respect to me, which troubles me more than any thing in the world. After done there Sir W. Batten and Captain Allen and I by coach to the Temple, where I ‘light, they going home, and indeed it being my trouble of mind to try whether I could meet with my Lord Sandwich and try him to see how he will receive me. I took coach and back again to Whitehall, but there could not find him. But here I met Dr. Clerke, and did tell him my story of my health; how my pain comes to me now-a-days. He did write something for me which I shall take when there is occasion. I then fell to other discourse of Dr. Knapp, who tells me he is the King’s physician, and is become a solicitor for places for people, and I am mightily troubled with him. He tells me he is the most impudent fellow in the world, that gives himself out to be the King’s physician, but it is not so, but is cast out of the Court. From thence I may learn what impudence there is in the world, and how a man may be deceived in persons.
Anon the King and Duke and Duchesse came to dinner in the Vane-roome, where I never saw them before; but it seems since the tables are down, he dines there all together.

pain coming
a drowned light in the sand

white pain comes to me as lace
and I am itself

the cast of a person
I never saw before


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Monday 7 December 1663.

Drug War: the Philippines

Above the eastern ridge,
a hawk enters its one figure
of accomplishment for the day:
the widest circle, the biggest

zero darkly brushed against
an unmarked page. I can respect
its talons, the purity of its
mathematics; its indifference

even when, from hunger,
it snatches up a vole or snake
or other creature from the ground
—But never what underwrites

the growing tally of hapless
bodies fallen in the streets:
the poor, the young, every day
sheathed in blood and placards.

 

In response to an entry from the Morning Porch.

Shooter

(Lord’s day). Lay long in bed, and then up and to church alone, which is the greatest trouble that I have by not having a man or, boy to wait on me, and so home to dinner, my wife, it being a cold day, and it begun to snow (the first snow we have seen this year) kept her bed till after dinner, and I below by myself looking over my arithmetique books and timber rule.
So my wife rose anon, and she and I all the afternoon at arithmetique, and she is come to do Addition, Subtraction, and Multiplicacion very well, and so I purpose not to trouble her yet with Division, but to begin with the Globes to her now.
At night came Captain Grove to discourse with me about Field’s business and of other matters, and so, he being gone, I to my office, and spent an houre or two reading Rushworth, and so to supper home, and to prayers and bed, finding myself by cold to have some pain begin with me, which God defend should increase.

a boy and a gun
his kept rose

the afternoon arithmetic
is subtraction and division

I pray to have
some pain begin with me


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Sunday 6 December 1663.

Equivalence

Is yes always the answer?
Yes is always the answer,
even when no.

More alike:
one hand curls around
and the other opens.

The night sky
fills with lanterns
you yourself have let go.

Mind over matter

Up and to the office, where we sat all the morning, and then with the whole board, viz., Sir J. Minnes, Sir W. Batten, and myself along with Captain Allen home to dinner, where he lives hard by in Mark Lane, where we had a very good plain dinner and good welcome, in a pretty little house but so smoky that it was troublesome to us all till they put out the fire, and made one of charcoale.
I was much pleased with this dinner for the many excellent stories told by Mr. Coventry, which I have put down in my book of tales and so shall not mention them here.
We staid till night, and then Mr. Coventry away, and by and by I home to my office till 9 or 10 at night, and so home to supper and to bed after some talke and Arithmetique with my poor wife, with whom now-a-days I live with great content, out of all trouble of mind by jealousy (for which God forgive me), or any other distraction more than my fear of my Lord Sandwich’s displeasure.

I live hard in a little house
so smoky that it was troublesome
till they put out the fire

in my book of tales
the poor live with great content
out of mind


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Saturday 5 December 1663.