Still hunting

Sam Pepys and me

Up and with Sir J. Minnes in his coach to White Hall, to the Duke’s; but found him gone out a-hunting. Thence to my Lord Sandwich, from whom I receive every day more and more signs of his confidence and esteem of me. Here I met with Pierce the chyrurgeon, who tells me that my Lady Castlemaine is with child; but though it be the King’s, yet her Lord being still in town, and sometimes seeing of her, though never to eat or lie together, it will be laid to him. He tells me also how the Duke of York is smitten in love with my Lady Chesterfield (a virtuous lady, daughter to my Lord of Ormond); and so much, that the duchess of York hath complained to the King and her father about it, and my Lady Chesterfield is gone into the country for it. At all which I am sorry; but it is the effect of idleness, and having nothing else to employ their great spirits upon. Thence with Mr. Creede and Mr. Moore (who is got upon his legs and come to see my Lord) to Wilkinson’s, and there I did give them and Mr. Howe their dinner of roast beef, cost me 5s., and after dinner carried Mr. Moore as far as Paul’s in a coach, giving him direction about my law business, and there set him down, and I home and among my workmen, who happened of all sorts to meet to their making an end of a great many jobbs, so that after to-morrow I shall have but a little plastering and all the painting almost to do, which was good content to me. At night to my office, and did business; and there came to me Mr. Wade and Evett, who have been again with their prime intelligencer, a woman, I perceive: and though we have missed twice, yet they bring such an account of the probability of the truth of the thing, though we are not certain of the place, that we shall set upon it once more; and I am willing and hopefull in it. So we resolved to set upon it again on Wednesday morning; and the woman herself will be there in a disguise, and confirm us in the place. So they took leave for the night, and I to my business, and then home to my wife and to supper and bed, my pain being going away. So by God’s great blessing my mind is in good condition of quiet.

I go out hunting
from an urge to see

though never to lie
in a field in idleness

is almost to miss
the truth of the place

so I disguise my business
going quiet


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Monday 3 November 1662.

Autobiography of the Soul

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
(a cento)


Imagine where you cannot be.

Some
days, I lay in the morgue
of darkness, hyper-alone,

Put out my eyes: and I shall see you, too,

Loving it all
to its silky death. to its silty bottom. to its graywater demise.

So the constellation through negation, since we’re stuck with night.

I give
the world my worn-out breath
on an old tune, I give
it all I have
and take it back again.


Source texts:
"One Way to Ressurect an Ancestor," CM Burroughs;
"I begin the day thinking," Taylor Byas; "Put Out
My Eyes," Rainer Maria Rilke; "There are inanimate
things out there loving each other," francine j.
harris; "Note on Method," Jeffrey Pethybridge;
"Breath," Philip Levine

Time out

Sam Pepys and me

(Lord’s day). Lay long with pleasure talking with my wife, in whom I never had greater content, blessed be God! than now, she continuing with the same care and thrift and innocence, so long as I keep her from occasions of being otherwise, as ever she was in her life, and keeps the house as well.
To church, where Mr. Mills, after he had read the service, and shifted himself as he did the last day, preached a very ordinary sermon. So home to dinner with my wife. Then up into my new rooms which are almost finished, and there walked with great content talking with my wife till church time, and then to church, and there being a lazy preacher I slept out the sermon, and so home, and after visiting the two Sir Williams, who are both of them mending apace, I to my office preparing things against to-morrow for the Duke, and so home and to bed, with some pain in making water, having taken cold this morning in sitting too long bare-legged to pare my corns.
My wife and I spent a good deal of this evening in reading “Du Bartas’ Imposture” and other parts which my wife of late has taken up to read, and is very fine as anything I meet with.

I never had less than now
so being otherwise as ever

I keep house and reach
ordinary rooms

with time to mend tomorrow
in bare-legged corn


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Sunday 2 November 1662.

Misunderstood Creatures

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
(a cento)

the black snakes that made a provisional home under the bow
of my dead & was made of that dreaming.

Here I eat you. Here, a food

the sea was vaporous and the boats were ants stranded in the air

I taste the fruit whose coarse skin
is eaten by beasts who've never tasted honey.

A shining breakfast, a breakfast shining, no dispute, no practice, nothing, nothing at all.

Muscle in the water like dregs of an abattoir.

Your pain the astrologer said A gift
for others

Like dogs for others they trained us with trays:

Meats and herbs seethed in oil and acid.

nothing is truly mine
except my name.

Worried my love's not worth much, but I always
come when called.

Bulbous buttercup, & oleander throw shade, & We live



Source Texts:
"Nothing Promised," Avia Tadmor; "SoMa." Hieu Minh

Nguyen; "Immigrant Song at a Food Truck," Weijia Pan;
"Capybara Hot Springs," Yaxkin Melchy Ramos; "Tender
Buttons [Breakfast]," Gertrude Stein; "Somber Bull,"
Andrea Cote; "Empires," Anthony Joseph; "Task,"
Ari Banias; "Catering," Brian Tierney; "Cattiveria,"
Sandra Lim; "Passing Through,"Stanley Kunitz;"Self-
Portrait as Hereboy, Sethe's Dog in Beloved," Saeed
Jones; "Lauren Oya Olamina Explains Earthseed
to Ernest Hemingway," L. Lamar Wilson

Airy

Sam Pepys and me

Up and after a little while with my w-orkmen I went to my office, and then to our sitting all the morning. At noon with Mr. Creede, whom I found at my house, to the Trinity House, to a great dinner there, by invitacion, and much company. It seems one Captain Evans makes his Elder Brother’s dinner to-day. Among other discourses one Mr. Oudant, secretary to the late Princesse of Orange, did discourse of the convenience as to keeping the highways from being deep, by their horses, in Holland (and Flanders where the ground is as miry as ours is), going in their carts and, waggons as ours in coaches, wishing the same here as an expedient to make the ways better, and I think there is something in it, where there is breadth enough.
Thence to my office, sent for to meet Mr. Leigh again; from Sir H. Bennet. And he and I, with Wade and his intelligencer and labourers, to the Tower cellars, to make one tryall more; where we staid two or three hours digging, and dug a great deal all under the arches, as it was now most confidently directed, and so seriously, and upon pretended good grounds, that I myself did truly expect to speed; but we missed of all: and so we went away the second time like fools. And to our office, whither, a coach being come, Mr. Leigh goes home to Whitehall; and I by appointment to the Dolphin Tavern, to meet Wade and the other, Captn. Evett, who now do tell me plainly, that he that do put him upon this is one that had it from Barkestead’s own mouth, and was advised with by him, just before the King’s coming in, how to get it out, and had all the signs told him how and where it lay, and had always been the great confident of Barkestead even to the trusting him with his life and all he had. So that he did much convince me that there is good ground for what we go about. But I fear it may be that he did find some conveyance of it away, without the help of this man, before he died. But he is resolved to go to the party once more, and then to determine what we shall do further. So we parted, and I to my office, where after sending away my letters to the post I do hear that Sir J. Minnes is resolved to turn part of our entry into a room and to divide the back yard between Sir W. Pen and him, which though I do not see how it will annoy me much particularly, yet it do trouble me a little for fear it should, but I do not see how it can well unless in his desiring my coming to my back stairs, but for that I shall do as well as himself or Sir W. Pen, who is most concerned to look after it.

on my high horse
the ground is as miry as a wish

an expedient to make way
for all that I miss

like an appointment
with the king of rust

or a fear party
or the fur part of my ear

I do not see how
I do not see my air


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Saturday 1 November 1662.

Maps

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
The years unspool like birds wheeling through the sky.

It's hard to tell what the point is, when all
points are part of that movement.

Sugar in every mouthful, no matter how hard
you try to avoid it.

What can you tell me about the future
that my past self writing to you now
could not anticipate?

We walked through the fairgrounds, licking
ice cream wrapped in folded cones.

When we took long road trips, the children got
excited about pushing pennies into a machine
that flattened them into arrowheads.

Is there a star that can still be named
after your beloved?

A telescope sits on the nightstand, pointed
at a corner of the ceiling.

A hundred fragments shake loose: which trail
is the one that leads to the moon and not
to a torn loaf of bread?

Falling

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
Your foot snags on the corner of a bumper.

The tiled floor of the grocery is many
shades of dirty gray.

Your instinct is to shield your face,
your head.

Minutes before, the woman at the cash register
says have a nice day and looks like she means it.

Just an hour before, you are mistaken
for someone else.

Wind whips the edges of the tarp loose.
The sound it makes, like flapping wings.

Cold air snags in your throat
on the way in.

Noon light is visible when you turn
your gaze to the left.

Your knees compose the retort you
should have made.

In Jesusland

Sam Pepys and me

Lay pretty long in bed, and then up and among my workmen, the carpenters being this day laying of my floor of my dining room, with whom I staid a good while, and so to my office, and did a little business, and so home to dinner, and after dinner all the afternoon with my carpenters, making them lay all my boards but one in my dining room this day, which I am confident they would have made two good days work of if I had not been there, and it will be very pleasant. At night to my office, and there late doing of my office business, and so home to supper and bed.
Thus ends this month, I and my family in good health, but weary heartily of dirt, but now in hopes within two or three weeks to be out of it. My head troubled with much business, but especially my fear of Sir J. Minnes claiming my bed-chamber of me, but I hope now that it is almost over, for I perceive he is fitting his house to go into it the next week. Then my law businesses for Brampton makes me mad almost, for that I want time to follow them, but I must by no means neglect them. I thank God I do save money, though it be but a little, but I hope to find out some job or other that I may get a sum by to set me up.
I am now also busy in a discovery for my Lord Sandwich and Sir H. Bennett by Mr. Wade’s means of some of Baxter’s money hid in one of his cellars in the Tower. If we get it it may be I may be 10 or 20l. the better for it.
I thank God I have no crosses, but only much business to trouble my mind with. In all other things as happy a man as any in the world, for the whole world seems to smile upon me, and if my house were done that I could diligently follow my business, I would not doubt to do God, and the King, and myself good service. And all I do impute almost wholly to my late temperance, since my making of my vowes against wine and plays, which keeps me most happily and contentfully to my business; which God continue!
Public matters are full of discontent, what with the sale of Dunkirk, and my Lady Castlemaine, and her faction at Court; though I know not what they would have more than to debauch the king, whom God preserve from it! And then great plots are talked to be discovered, and all the prisons in town full of ordinary people, taken from their meeting-places last Sunday. But for certain some plots there hath been, though not brought to a head.

carpenter
I have no cross

only my mind with
the whole world in it

and all the prisons full
of ordinary people


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Friday 31 October 1662.

Good night

Sam Pepys and me

Could sleep but little to-night for thoughts of my business. So up by candlelight and by water to Whitehall, and so to my Lord Sandwich, who was up in his chamber and all alone, did acquaint me with his business; which was, that our old acquaintance Mr. Wade (in Axe Yard) hath discovered to him 7,000l. hid in the Tower, of which he was to have two for discovery; my Lord himself two, and the King the other three, when it was found; and that the King’s warrant runs for me on my Lord’s part, and one Mr. Lee for Sir Harry Bennet, to demand leave of the Lieutenant of the Tower for to make search. After he had told me the whole business, I took leave and hastened to my office, expecting to be called by a letter from my Lord to set upon the business, and so there I sat with the officers all the morning. At noon when we were up comes Mr. Wade with my Lord’s letter, and tells me the whole business. So we consulted for me to go first to Sir H. Bennet, who is now with many of the Privy Counsellors at the Tower, examining of their late prisoners, to advise with him when to begin.
So I went; and the guard at the Tower Gate, making me leave my sword at the gate, I was forced to stay so long in the ale-house hard by, till my boy run home for my cloak, that my Lord Mayor that now is, Sir John Robinson, Lieutenant of the Tower, with all his company, was gone with their coaches to his house in Minchen Lane. So my cloak being come, I walked thither; and there, by Sir G. Carteret’s means, did presently speak with Sir H. Bennet, who did show and give me the King’s warrant to me and Mr. Leigh, and another to himself, for the paying of 2,000l. to my Lord, and other two to the discoverers. After a little discourse, dinner come in; and I dined with them. There was my Lord Mayor, my Lord Lauderdale, Mr. Secretary Morris, to whom Sir H. Bennet would give the upper hand; Sir Wm. Compton, Sir G. Carteret, and myself, and some other company, and a brave dinner. After dinner, Sir H. Bennet did call aside the Lord Mayor and me, and did break the business to him, who did not, nor durst appear the least averse to it, but did promise all assistance forthwith to set upon it. So Mr. Lee and I to our office, and there walked till Mr. Wade and one Evett his guide did come, and W. Griffin, and a porter with his picke-axes, &c.; and so they walked along with us to the Tower, and Sir H. Bennet and my Lord Mayor did give us full power to fall to work. So our guide demands, a candle, and down into the cellars he goes, inquiring whether they were the same that Baxter always had. We went into several little cellars, and then went out a-doors to view, and to the Cole Harbour; but none did answer so well to the marks which was given him to find it by, as one arched vault. Where, after a great deal of council whether to set upon it now, or delay for better and more full advice, we set to it, to digging we went to almost eight o’clock at night, but could find nothing. But, however, our guides did not at all seem discouraged; for that they being confident that the money is there they look for, but having never been in the cellars, they could not be positive to the place, and therefore will inform themselves more fully now they have been there, of the party that do advise them. So locking the door after us, we left work to-night, and up to the Deputy Governor (my Lord Mayor, and Sir H. Bennet, with the rest of the company being gone an hour before); and he do undertake to keep the key of the cellars, that none shall go down without his privity. But, Lord! to see what a young simple fantastique coxcombe is made Deputy Governor, would make one mad; and how he called out for his night-gown of silk, only to make a show to us; and yet for half an hour I did not think he was the Deputy Governor, and so spoke not to him about the business, but waited for another man; at last I broke our business to him; and he promising his care, we parted. And Mr. Leigh and I by coach to White Hall, where I did give my Lord Sandwich an account of our proceedings, and some encouragement to hope for something hereafter, and so bade him goodnight, and so by coach home again, where to my trouble I found that the painter had not been here to-day to do any thing, which vexes me mightily. So to my office to put down my journal, and so home and to bed.
This morning, walking with Mr. Coventry in the garden, he did tell me how Sir G. Carteret had carried the business of the Victuallers’ money to be paid by himself, contrary to old practice; at which he is angry I perceive, but I believe means no hurt, but that things maybe done as they ought. He expects Sir George should not bespatter him privately, in revenge, but openly. Against which he prepares to bedaub him, and swears he will do it from the beginning, from Jersey to this day. And as to his own taking of too large fees or rewards for places that he had sold, he will prove that he was directed to it by Sir George himself among others. And yet he did not deny Sir G. Carteret his due, in saying that he is a man that do take the most pains, and gives himself the most to do business of any man about the Court, without any desire of pleasure or divertisements; which is very true. But which pleased me mightily, he said in these words, that he was resolved, whatever it cost him, to make an experiment, and see whether it was possible for a man to keep himself up in Court by dealing plainly and walking uprightly, with any private game a playing: in the doing whereof, if his ground do slip from under him, he will be contented; but he is resolved to try, and never to baulke taking notice of any thing that is to the King’s prejudice, let it fall where it will; which is a most brave resolucion. He was very free with me; and by my troth, I do see more reall worth in him than in most men that I do know.
I would not forget two passages of Sir J. Minnes’s at yesterday’s dinner. The one, that to the question how it comes to pass that there are no boars seen in London, but many sows and pigs; it was answered, that the constable gets them a-nights. The other, Thos. Killigrew’s way of getting to see plays when he was a boy. He would go to the Red Bull, and when the man cried to the boys, “Who will go and be a devil, and he shall see the play for nothing?” then would he go in, and be a devil upon the stage, and so get to see plays.

sleep hid in a hole
from all my many aches

how to come up
with a pickaxe and candle

in several little cellars
digging down

to you
my good night

down to the beginning
a place to take pains

without any ground
under anything

let me be a devil then
and get to play


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Thursday 30 October 1662.

Early Voting, with Squirrel Remains

river in November light between bare woods and mountain
On the way back from the voting booths,
we see it on the sidewalk: dark and
stiff, mahogany as a branch left too long
in the fire except for a visible shin
bone and a row of teeth jutting out
from the pointy area in what used to be
its face. Was it perhaps struck by lightning
or a charge of electricity as it ran
across a length of wire? Whatever it was
charred off all its fur and left only skin,
taut and dry like jerky. Whatever it was
must have been quick: no time for heart,
nerves or brain to signal distress.
Shock and stun, instant paralysis.