I feel as if I should add a disclaimer, though:
Be advised that the author has not been romantically involved with anyone for years, that he’s not very good at maintaining friendships, and that he hasn’t even prayed or spoken with invisible friends since he was a child. He even gave away an adorable little kitten that the Universe dropped on his doorstep last spring. In short, he is almost unredeemably anti-social, notwithstanding his recent decision to join Facebook.