We Mourn Only What We Can Name

Once, I was told it is bad luck to name
your child after a person that has died.

For many years It paralyzed me to think
I might have doomed you thus to a life 

of tribulation— second or fifth
in a line of matriarchs, junior 

or third in male succession—
Until I realized: whatever name

we are given, the naming itself
is what confers the condition of 

grievability. Out of the shapeless
dark, someone gives you this name

you will answer to all your life. 
A claiming, but one that comes

with all that it entails. You can't lose
what you haven't brought close

to your breast. You can't mourn what
you haven't named enough to lose.