Acclimatized

This straw isn’t bad, really, said the scarecrow. I like straw.

At least I’m eliciting strong emotions, said the alarm clock.

I’m taking this opportunity to get in touch with my roots, said the wind-thrown tree.

There’s no greater joy than the feeling of being useful, said the automatic rifle.

Wow, what an intense rush, said the lobster. You hardly notice the heat.

I’m ready for some time apart, said the quarry stone.

11 Replies to “Acclimatized”

  1. Thanks for the comment. I could add a phrase to that if it’s too obscure, though I was trying to avoid making these lines into full-fledged wellerisms.

    [Later] After checking with another reader, I decided to add a second sentence to the lobster part. Hope it’s clearer now.

  2. Thanks. I didn’t know until I read the Wikipedia article that Charles Dickens must’ve borrowed the form from the Dutch. I’d always thought he’d invented it out of whole cloth for his character Sam Weller in The Pickwick Papers (whence “wellerism”).

  3. Glad to know about wellerisms and enjoyed these. I did understand the lobster line without the second sentence, but then I’ve actually done that to a lobster. Once. (But would it have worked with a frog, I wonder. The wellerism, I mean.)

  4. Thanks for the feedback, mb. I’ve been feeling guilty that I didn’t try and write more of these, but I’ve been strangely lacking in inspiration lately. Gotta just keep plugging ahead, as the lemming said.

  5. Also, it occurs to me that a more Welleresque wellerism for my next-to-last would be:

    It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity, as the lobster said when they took him for his last swim.

    I do recommend The Pickwick Papers for anyone who might be looking for good bedtime reading — it’s a rollicking, picaresque series of tales in the style of the 18th century that gradually morphs into a 19th-century novel, and you get a good sense where Dickens’ style came from. Also, my brother maintains with some justification that Sam Weller was Tolkien’s model for Sam Gamgee, for all you LOTR fans.

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