The Bloggers Association of America (BAA) has notified me that I am at risk of losing my blogging license if I don’t start publishing more random lists of links masquerading as bad advice.
- Eat junk food made out of paper
- Grow a Potemkin lawn
- Buy stock in livestock, specifically alpacas — “a stress-free investment you can hug”
- Keep all packaging
- Invest in garbage
- Get a tubal ligation or vasectomy and sell your breeding credits to couples with more than two children
- Stop eating brains
- Drive out the witches
- Engage in spiritual warfare with the weather demons
- Engage in internet warfare with the chemtrails
- Instead of expensive pharmaceuticals, take two poems daily
- Organize an airdrop of balloons
- Grow turnips on Mars
Oh, wait, make that 14:
Dave Bonta (bio) crowd-sources his problems by following his gut, which he shares with 100 trillion of his closest microbial friends — a close-knit, symbiotic community comprising several thousand species of bacteria, fungi, and protozoa. In a similarly collaborative fashion, all of Dave’s writing is available for reuse and creative remix under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 United States License. For attribution in printed material, his name (Dave Bonta) will suffice, but for web use, please link back to the original. Contact him for permission to waive the “share alike” provision (e.g. for use in a conventionally copyrighted work).