Confession of the Professional Left

Having made a career of desertion, we are adept at wailing, failing, falling, walking it off. We juggle buckets & flamethrowers, weed-whackers & metronomes, equal to whatever sinister task. Every third Thursday we serve guilt & sour soup. Mornings leave a gritty residue in our communal sink — think of a hog wallow. If the earth were any closer, we would have to put millipedes on the payroll & rechristen all the cemeteries as recycling centers, because what you call leftovers, we call encore presentations. We believe our enemies to be human, no more evil than we, & we believe in regular upheaval. Like sands in a goddamn hourglass are the lives of our days.

(In response to the recent outburst from President Obama’s press secretary, Robert Gibbs.)

0 Replies to “Confession of the Professional Left”

  1. Better watch out — you professional lefties down there might end up with Canadian health care. Apparently, them’s is almost fightin’ words these days. (-:

    1. We both know people who fit the angry leftist stereotype, I’m sure. Then again, there’s a hell of a lot to be angry about… if only anger weren’t so harmful to the psyche.

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