Superb frozen drink machine (unsolicited email)

Hello, my friend, glad to hear that you are interested in frozen drink machine. I am semi-aquatic, our company specialize in various habitat for 4 billion year, with the customers from diverse phyla, and hopes to find a way to cooperate with you. We have various kinds of iceberg, pack ice, glacier, snowcone, and other beverage and river dispenser with high quality and competitive price which will be suitable for your market and customer. You may visit our biosphere to get more information, free samples can be teleported on request, call me, let’s talk more. Do not wait as supplies are increasingly few. I anticipate your generous reply.

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Dave Bonta (bio) crowd-sources his problems by following his gut, which he shares with 100 trillion of his closest microbial friends — a close-knit, symbiotic community comprising several thousand species of bacteria, fungi, and protozoa. In a similarly collaborative fashion, all of Dave’s writing is available for reuse and creative remix under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 United States License. For attribution in printed material, his name (Dave Bonta) will suffice, but for web use, please link back to the original. Contact him for permission to waive the “share alike” provision (e.g. for use in a conventionally copyrighted work).


  1. Dear friend, as a followed semi-autoquatic, I must incline your offer. As I”m sure is known, too many glaciers in my blood causes hypnotherapy.


    1. I’d pot a comment myself had twitches not got here before me and left the coolest one imaginable! (Contented sigh!)


  2. Dear, I am long a friend of frozen drink machines. I am specialized in mountain habitat for not so many billion year, but I can cooperate with you. I want to know the high quality of your iceberg, your glacier, your snowcone, exceptionally for today. Where can we get information to teleport to your biosphere? We cannot wait until the sky rains ice cubes. I too anticipate your generous reply.


    1. Hello my friend, after further inqueries I seem your climate leads to breakdown in superb frozen drink machine. Failure to follow manufacturers instructions make void the warranty. We can provide new but it won’t go long time unless bringing down fast the coal burning, oil burning, forest burning, cattle fart and other emission release. Deep apologies and regards.


      1. Dear emission release department, why I am not surprised that is a lot of fart air. Please return my climate immediately.


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