Manic Pixie Dream Consultant

from Max Ernst’s “Une Semaine de Bonté” (p. 5)

Even as your figment I have my limits.
I will not, for example,
join your network on LinkedIn.
I will neither architect nor incubate
your cloud-based growth strategies.
Deep dives into data are dangerous
if you’re boiling the ocean. Best
to circle back and drill down—
but let mine be the box you think
outside of. I charge by the minute
and day-dreaming is not—
to paraphrase Bill Gates—
an efficient allocation of time resources.
I am not your low-hanging fruit,
and at the end of the day, you can’t
leverage my deliverables or turn
me into another sounding board.
You don’t need me. Given
your mouth’s open-door policy,
you’re hollow enough to echo
anything back.

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Dave Bonta (bio) crowd-sources his problems by following his gut, which he shares with 100 trillion of his closest microbial friends — a close-knit, symbiotic community comprising several thousand species of bacteria, fungi, and protozoa. In a similarly collaborative fashion, all of Dave’s writing is available for reuse and creative remix under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 United States License. For attribution in printed material, his name (Dave Bonta) will suffice, but for web use, please link back to the original. Contact him for permission to waive the “share alike” provision (e.g. for use in a conventionally copyrighted work).

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