They don't want to wear
our silence like rings
on their fingers.
Water must be clean
and come from natural
sources, even for
the parched throats
of crickets: say dew
drops on early morning
leaves, the tears of faraway
glaciers calving. Merciful
rain coming down.
Let them be soaked instead
in those kinds of sheets.
Back of beyond
Up, and visited very betimes by Mr. Sheply, who is come to town upon business from Hinchingbrooke, where he left all well. I out and walked along with him as far as Fleet Streete, it being a fast day, the usual fast day for the plague, and few coaches to be had. Thanks be to God, the plague is, as I hear, encreased but two this week; but in the country in several places it rages mightily, and particularly in Colchester, where it hath long been, and is believed will quite depopulate the place.
To St. James’s, and there did our usual business with the Duke, all of us, among other things, discoursing about the places where to build ten great ships; the King and Council have resolved on none to be under third-rates; but it is impossible to do it, unless we have more money towards the doing it than yet we have in any view. But, however, the shew must be made to the world.
Thence to my Lord Bellasses to take my leave of him, he being going down to the North to look after the Militia there, for fear of an invasion.
Thence home and dined, and then to the office, where busy all day, and in the evening Sir W. Pen come to me, and we walked together, and talked of the late fight. I find him very plain, that the whole conduct of the late fight was ill, and that that of truth’s all, and he tells me that it is not he, but two-thirds of the commanders of the whole fleete have told him so: they all saying, that they durst not oppose it at the Council of War, for fear of being called cowards, though it was wholly against their judgement to fight that day with the disproportion of force, and then we not being able to use one gun of our lower tier, which was a greater disproportion than the other. Besides, we might very well have staid in the Downs without fighting, or any where else, till the Prince could have come up to them; or at least till the weather was fair, that we might have the benefit of our whole force in the ships that we had.
He says three things must [be] remedied, or else we shall be undone by this fleete.
1. That we must fight in a line, whereas we fight promiscuously, to our utter and demonstrable ruine; the Dutch fighting otherwise; and we, whenever we beat them.
2. We must not desert ships of our own in distress, as we did, for that makes a captain desperate, and he will fling away his ship, when there is no hopes left him of succour.
3. That ships, when they are a little shattered, must not take the liberty to come in of themselves, but refit themselves the best they can, and stay out — many of our ships coming in with very small disablenesses.
He told me that our very commanders, nay, our very flag-officers, do stand in need of exercising among themselves, and discoursing the business of commanding a fleete; he telling me that even one of our flag-men in the fleete did not know which tacke lost the wind, or which kept it, in the last engagement.
He says it was pure dismaying and fear that made them all run upon the Galloper, not having their wits about them; and that it was a miracle they were not all lost. He much inveighs upon my discoursing of Sir John Lawson’s saying heretofore, that sixty sail would do as much as one hundred; and says that he was a man of no counsel at all, but had got the confidence to say as the gallants did, and did propose to himself to make himself great by them, and saying as they did; but was no man of judgement in his business, but hath been out in the greatest points that have come before them. And then in the business of fore-castles, which he did oppose, all the world sees now the use of them for shelter of men.
He did talk very rationally to me, insomuch that I took more pleasure this night in hearing him discourse, than I ever did in my life in any thing that he said.
He gone I to the office again, and so after some business home to supper and to bed.
I sing about places where
it is impossible to find a cow
where in the desert
will a flag need the wind
or a miracle do as much
as one hundred ants
for the night life
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Wednesday 4 July 1666.
And Honey
As in Land of, or half
the name my people gave this
place when they imagined
how it would feel to arrive
at a destination different from
one ordained at birth—
It's easy to admire those who have no
difficulty securing passage, easing
into a tongue practiced in schools
with toilets and running water. It's easy
to shame those who believed the lies, who sold
the family farm, the water buffalo, the agate
beads and heirloom jars. Those who traded
two seasons for four, one leafed in russet and
gold as vegetation entered into a long quietus
they came to understand didn't necessarily mean
death. Apples redden and fall in a hundred orchards,
and bees propel themselves into a riot of flowers.
All that must be gathered is nearly level with
the earth, and requires a bending. All I'm saying
is some don't need to think twice, dipping the spoon
into the sweet. Some walk the rows long after sun-
down, or lower the netting over their faces before
counting the jars and hefting crates onto trucks.
Warrior
Being very weary, lay long in bed, then to the office and there sat all the day. At noon dined at home, Balty’s wife with us, and in very good humour I was and merry at dinner, and after dinner a song or two, and so I abroad to my Lord Treasurer’s (sending my sister home by the coach), while I staid there by appointment to have met my Lord Bellasses and Commissioners of Excise, but they did not meet me, he being abroad. However Mr. Finch, one of the Commissioners, I met there, and he and I walked two houres together in the garden, talking of many things; sometimes of Mr. Povy, whose vanity, prodigality, neglect of his business, and committing it to unfit hands hath undone him and outed him of all his publique employments, and the thing set on foot by an accidental revivall of a business, wherein he had three or fours years ago, by surprize, got the Duke of Yorke to sign to the having a sum of money paid out of the Excise, before some that was due to him, and now the money is fallen short, and the Duke never likely to be paid. This being revived hath undone Povy.
Then we fell to discourse of the Parliament, and the great men there: and among others, Mr. Vaughan, whom he reports as a man of excellent judgement and learning, but most passionate and ‘opiniastre’. He had done himself the most wrong (though he values it not), that is, the displeasure of the King in his standing so long against the breaking of the Act for a triennial parliament; but yet do believe him to be a most loyall gentleman.
He told me Mr. Prin’s character; that he is a man of mighty labour and reading and memory, but the worst judge of matters, or layer together of what he hath read, in the world; which I do not, however, believe him in; that he believes him very true to the King in his heart, but can never be reconciled to episcopacy; that the House do not lay much weight upon him, or any thing he says.
He told me many fine things, and so we parted, and I home and hard to work a while at the office and then home and till midnight about settling my last month’s accounts wherein I have been interrupted by public business, that I did not state them two or three days ago, but I do now to my great joy find myself worth above 5600l., for which the Lord’s name be praised! So with my heart full of content to bed.
Newes come yesterday from Harwich, that the Dutch had appeared upon our coast with their fleete, and we believe did go to the Gun-fleete, and they are supposed to be there now; but I have heard nothing of them to-day.
Yesterday Dr. Whistler, at Sir W. Pen’s, told me that Alexander Broome, a the great song-maker, is lately dead.
a finch in the garden
fallen like a memory of the world
I do not believe in
I work out my joy
with a gun now
that the song is dead
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Tuesday 3 July 1666.
Give a little whistle
Up betimes, and forced to go to my Lord Mayor’s, about the business of the pressed men; and indeed I find him a mean man of understanding and dispatch of any publique business. Thence out of curiosity to Bridewell to see the pressed men, where there are about 300; but so unruly that I durst not go among them: and they have reason to be so, having been kept these three days prisoners, with little or no victuals, and pressed out, and, contrary to all course of law, without press-money, and men that are not liable to it.
Here I met with prating Colonel Cox, one of the City collonells heretofore a great presbyter: but to hear how the fellow did commend himself, and the service he do the King; and, like an asse, at Paul’s did take me out of my way on purpose to show me the gate (the little north gate) where he had two men shot close by him on each hand, and his own hair burnt by a bullet-shot in the insurrection of Venner, and himself escaped. Thence home and to the Tower to see the men from Bridewell shipped.
Being rid of him I home to dinner, and thence to the Excise office by appointment to meet my Lord Bellasses and the Commissioners, which we did and soon dispatched, and so I home, and there was called by Pegg Pen to her house, where her father and mother, and Mrs. Norton, the second Roxalana, a fine woman, indifferent handsome, good body and hand, and good mine, and pretends to sing, but do it not excellently. However I took pleasure there, and my wife was sent for, and Creed come in to us, and so there we spent the most of the afternoon. Thence weary of losing so much time I to the office, and thence presently down to Deptford; but to see what a consternation there is upon the water by reason of this great press, that nothing is able to get a waterman to appear almost. Here I meant to have spoke with Bagwell’s mother, but her face was sore, and so I did not, but returned and upon the water found one of the vessels loaden with the Bridewell birds in a great mutiny, and they would not sail, not they; but with good words, and cajoling the ringleader into the Tower (where, when he was come, he was clapped up in the hole), they were got very quietly; but I think it is much if they do not run the vessel on ground. But away they went, and I to the Lieutenant of the Tower, and having talked with him a little, then home to supper very late and to bed weary.
a shot bullet
pretends to sing
a consternation of birds
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Monday 2 July 1666.
The Killing Jar
The gods drink their highballs—
May they stumble
They are so far / gone from light—
Lorca says, one day we will watch
the preserved butterflies rise
from the dead:
their wings unpinned / lifted
Their satin-lined
miniature coffins shattered in exhibit halls
and on collectors' tables— And the trees /
the trees— should they not resound with
conjoined choruses of cicadas
who won't have to perish after long
confinement and separation—
Laceratio: a mutilation, an opening
first dealt as wound
in whatever guise
Shouldn't every street in every city
film with rags / sooty
uniforms they were made to wear
during long incarceration—
Can we stop now
Can we not cut open / their hearts
only to bind our ears against
lamentations in the grass—
Can we set one wing
next to another
next to the unbroken /
ungathered
But are we
Can we
Boondocks
(Sunday). Up betimes, and to the office receiving letters, two or three one after another from Sir W. Coventry, and sent as many to him, being full of variety of business and hurry, but among the chiefest is the getting of these pressed men out of the City down the river to the fleete.
While I was hard at it comes Sir W. Pen to towne, which I little expected, having invited my Lady and her daughter Pegg to dine with me to-day; which at noon they did, and Sir W. Pen with them: and pretty merry we were. And though I do not love him, yet I find it necessary to keep in with him; his good service at Shearnesse in getting out the fleete being much taken notice of, and reported to the King and Duke [of York], even from the Prince and Duke of Albemarle themselves, and made the most of to me and them by Sir W. Coventry: therefore I think it discretion, great and necessary discretion, to keep in with him.
After dinner to the office again, where busy, and then down to Deptford to the yard, thinking to have seen Bagwell’s wife, whose husband is gone yesterday back to the fleete, but I did not see her, so missed what I went for, and so back to the Tower several times, about the business of the pressed men, and late at it till twelve at night, shipping of them. But, Lord! how some poor women did cry; and in my life I never did see such natural expression of passion as I did here in some women’s bewailing themselves, and running to every parcel of men that were brought, one after another, to look for their husbands, and wept over every vessel that went off, thinking they might be there, and looking after the ship as far as ever they could by moone-light, that it grieved me to the heart to hear them. Besides, to see poor patient labouring men and housekeepers, leaving poor wives and families, taking up on a sudden by strangers, was very hard, and that without press-money, but forced against all law to be gone. It is a great tyranny. Having done this I to the Lieutenant of the Tower and bade him good night, and so away home and to bed.
get the press out of the city
and they do not love us
who is looking
after the moon
I see patient laboring men
housekeepers
poor wives and strangers
against all tyranny
having one good night
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Sunday 1 July 1666.
Home Remedies for Intermittent Sadness
Drain the dish rack and carefully check
if the corners have hints of mildew.
Take an old toothbrush and gently scrub
with water and soap, without judgment.
Turn it on its side or upside down.
If you have a deck chair maybe put it
out there to dry in the sun. Think
about the next little overlooked
spots that might have suffered from
an accumulation or buildup of residue
over the months, maybe years. Pick one
or two or three that can be dealt with,
without too much agonizing— For instance,
this would leave out the bottom and sides
of the toaster; having such a poor
design to begin with, those interiors
are virtually impossible to reach.
And the removable plastic guard
at the bottom of the refrigerator,
because it is only the gateway
to a winding corridor of lint—you
can't really tell how far back
it goes. Review the YouTube video
where a woman explains the magic
of folding fitted sheets flat. Now
take out your sheets from the linen closet
and follow, finishing with almost knife-
sharp edges. Even butter knife is good.
Broke
Up, and to the office, and mightily troubled all this morning with going to my Lord Mayor (Sir Thomas Bludworth, a silly man, I think), and other places, about getting shipped some men that they have these two last nights pressed in the City out of houses: the persons wholly unfit for sea, and many of them people of very good fashion, which is a shame to think of, and carried to Bridewell they are, yet without being impressed with money legally as they ought to be.
But to see how the King’s business is done; my Lord Mayor himself did scruple at this time of extremity to do this thing, because he had not money to pay the pressed-money to the men, he told me so himself; nor to take up boats to carry them down through bridge to the ships I had prepared to carry them down in; insomuch that I was forced to promise to be his paymaster, and he did send his City Remembrancer afterwards to the office, and at the table, in the face of the officers, I did there out of my owne purse disburse 15l. to pay for their pressing and diet last night and this morning; which is a thing worth record of my Lord Mayor.
Busy about this all the morning, at noon dined and then to the office again, and all the afternoon till twelve at night full of this business and others, and among these others about the getting off men pressed by our officers of the fleete into the service; even our owne men that are at the office, and the boats that carry us. So that it is now become impossible to have so much as a letter carried from place to place, or any message done for us: nay, out of Victualling ships full loaden to go down to the fleete, and out of the vessels of the officers of the Ordnance, they press men, so that for want of discipline in this respect I do fear all will be undone. Vexed with these things, but eased in mind by my ridding of a great deale of business from the office, I late home to supper and to bed. But before I was in bed, while I was undressing myself, our new ugly mayde, Luce, had like to have broke her necke in the darke, going down our upper stairs; but, which I was glad of, the poor girle did only bruise her head, but at first did lie on the ground groaning and drawing her breath, like one a-dying.
This month I end in much hurry of business, but in much more trouble in mind to thinke what will become of publique businesses, having so many enemys abroad, and neither force nor money at all, and but little courage for ourselves, it being really true that the spirits of our seamen and commanders too are really broke by the last defeate with the Dutch, and this is not my conjecture only, but the real and serious thoughts of Sir G. Carteret and Sir W. Coventry, whom I have at distinct times heard the same thing come from with a great deale of grief and trouble.
But, lastly, I am providing against a foule day to get as much money into my hands as I can, at least out of the publique hands, that so, if a turne, which I fear, do come, I may have a little to trust to. I pray God give me good successe in my choice how to dispose of what little I have, that I may not take it out of publique hands, and put it into worse.
nights without money
I carry a purse full
of impossible things
undressing myself in the dark
I lie like a Dutch oven
in the hands of rust
Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Saturday 30 June 1666.
The Least Common Denominator is the Least Number of Notes Needed to Count Time
"A fruit learns to love its juice."
~ Teresa Mei Chuc
A buttonhole expands
space the width of a fingernail,
the depth of a black hole: it's
fumble o'clock past the hour,
and you will be allowed to try
to get it right, especially
if undoing the garment is one
objective. All across the yard,
clumps of snake berries signal,
wanting to be given the same
legitimacy as things packed
in gleaming plastic. Why not?
Isn't routine the surest
assassin of gestation?
Three people around
the breakfast table, one
of anything. Crumbled past
its expiration date, the heel
of a loaf grows voluptuous
with the addition of liquid.
Like the heart, possibly
the oldest pickle in the human
body. Or the liver, last
factory in the interior:
whatever it makes, it never
manufactures twist ties. Come
help me render ovation
to their performance
while the sky is still
a smooth blue stone
and some of our homes
are still standing.