Equivalence

You used to hate 
the extra name in front
of your birth name 
and when

anyone but your father
called you by your 
pet name
 
You used to hate 
yourself for letting
your bladder run 
under cover of rain

packed into a jeep 
with other school
children  

You used to hate 
garlic Now you love 
garlic

You heard a poet say 
what does it even mean
to ask for one clove  
and not a whole head
in a recipe

Don't they really mean
that can't be enough

You used to spit
the bitter back
into the spoon
but mix salt
with sugar

You used to love 
the resinous green 
smell of pine

Whatever you lost 
you both loved 
and hated
the hardest