Wondering

Wondering if your children are safe. Wondering if it was a mistake 
to leave them in the care of others. If going to work/school in a different 
city makes any leaving worse. Wondering how anyone can fall asleep
in five minutes and not wake up several times in the night. If one is 
allowed to take a small pleasure (like ice cream or a hot bath or an after-
noon at the movies) without having to pay for it in some way (bad news, 
sudden illness, a visit to the ER). Wondering how many years it takes 
to wipe out all debt. Wondering how some people can take three
or four vacations a year with their entire family—cruises, long
hotel stays, shiny smiles for days into the camera. Birds wheel
overhead in a city square where the light is milky all night—Don't
they have trouble figuring out what time it is? Wondering how
horses and ducks and deer sleep standing up; how bright pink
flocks of flamingos can't even sit on the sand flats where they live.