The Baculum

can be the longest bone in some 
mammals’ bodies—for instance,
the walrus baculum can be over 2 
feet long and thus the longest bone 
in its entire body. Strangely, as well, 
the blue whale—not only the largest 
mammal but also considered the largest 
animal alive on earth—doesn’t have a penis 
bone. During late night TV shows, it’s surprising 
how many commercials seemingly target an older
generation of viewers concerned about their blood 
pressure, weight gain, fading memory, or erectile 
dysfunction. Ads for the latter used to roll out 
images of crooked cucumbers and language 
overflowing with barely disguised metaphor—
You’re either going to lie down or you’re going 
to stand up, or Don’t let being unable to get it up
get you down. In some of the world’s largest 
natural history museums, mammal skeletons 
have been prepared for display without one,
for reasons of modesty or prudishness.   
Elsewhere, collectors whittle them smooth,
might even use the ones from raccoons
as toothpicks. Behind glass, a tray of impressions:
curious bone that’s often not attached to anything,
that just sort of floats in the soft tissue. Dog, fox, 
coyote; otter, black bear, badger, mink, skunk.