Resolutions (take as many as you need)

Be it hereby resolved that:

  • the minutes are approved as amended
  • a thorough investigation will be launched into allegations of wrongdoing
  • Monday morning quarterbacks should be put into the game, starting Monday
  • my pa can whip your pa
  • the shortest distance between two points remains open to lines of any sexual orientation
  • I won’t come a-knockin’ if the trailer’s rockin’
  • a picture shall now be worth 3,759 words
  • the wicked will do wickedly (see Dan. 12:10)
  • “love” is not a four-letter word
  • wimpy, two-fingered air quotes shall be replaced by the secret devil sign
  • we should each create a space in our hectic, daily lives for more sustained exposure to commercial messages and self-destructive impulses
  • at ______, we build solutions
  • life will be made better
  • I will get down with my bad self
  • we will purge our closets of “Free Judith Miller” t-shirts, ballcaps and buttons
  • one good turn deserves another, unless otherwise indicated
  • I will henceforth seek truth from facts, and achieve the Four Modernizations
  • new leaves will be turned over at random and examined for illegal drugs or weapons
  • mistakes will be made
  • I will remain in beta

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