May I have your attention please.

This is your captain speaking. We have begun final descent from limbo and expect to be landing in Via Negativa soon. Please remain seated and turn off the overhead lights.

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Dave Bonta (bio) crowd-sources his problems by following his gut, which he shares with 100 trillion of his closest microbial friends — a close-knit, symbiotic community comprising several thousand species of bacteria, fungi, and protozoa. In a similarly collaborative fashion, all of Dave’s writing is available for reuse and creative remix under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 United States License. For attribution in printed material, his name (Dave Bonta) will suffice, but for web use, please link back to the original. Contact him for permission to waive the “share alike” provision (e.g. for use in a conventionally copyrighted work).


  1. Flight attendant! Please tell the captain that there are space aliens circling behind the plane! He should take evasive action. Help!!!


  2. …Actually, the title makes me want to add, “Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?”


    1. I think Clive wants you to sing, but hey, if you can rap…


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