Inhibited

Up between 4 and 5 o’clock and to set several papers to rights, and so to the office, where we had an extraordinary meeting. But, Lord! how it torments me to find myself so unable to give an account of my Victualling business, which puts me out of heart in every thing else, so that I never had a greater shame upon me in my owne mind, nor more trouble as to publique business than I have now, but I will get out of it as soon as possibly I can.
At noon dined at home, and after dinner comes in my wife’s brother Balty and his wife, he being stepped ashore from the fleete for a day or two.
I away in some haste to my Lord Ashly, where it is stupendous to see how favourably, and yet closely, my Lord Ashly carries himself to Mr. Yeabsly, in his business, so as I think we shall do his business for him in very good manner. But it is a most extraordinary thing to observe, and that which I would not but have had the observation of for a great deal of money.
Being done there, and much forwarded Yeabsly’s business, I with Sir H. Cholmly to my Lord Bellassis, who is lately come from Tangier to visit him, but is not within. So to Westminster Hall a little about business and so home by water, and then out with my wife, her brother, sister, and Mercer to Islington, our grand tour, and there eat and drank. But in discourse I am infinitely pleased with Balty, his deportment in his business of Muster-Master, and hope mighty well from him, and am glad with all my heart I put him into this business.
Late home and to bed, they also lying at my house, he intending to go away to-morrow back again to sea.

a lock torments me
unable to give
more than ash

where ash is ordinary as water
and infinite as hope
this lying sea


Erasure poem derived from The Diary of Samuel Pepys, Monday 21 May 1666.

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