Wolf spiders and hamsters have been known to eat their young; black bears, pandas, to leave them— Nothing new that hasn't been shown on National Geographic or the Animal Channel. Were they happy or not? Is this beside the point for wolf spiders and hamsters? But you know a very specific anguish: what comes of feeling we can only be as happy as our saddest chlld. You think there's nothing new that can be known, but there' s so much nuance in everything— Sometimes, too much to bear. Such times make me wish I were simple instinct: like creatures in the wild blind to the weight of human sorrows, blind to the real possibilities of future joys. But I don't have the heart of wolf spider or hamster. How do we put an end to the pain we're told is all we can know?