Come as You Are

~ for Marianne


Will it be saag paneer, warmly  
green with spice, or pork belly
glossy under bar lights; that pupu
platter at Alkaline where cocktails
are cute and the sake is tinged 
with the smile of tropical fruit?
It's noon and we've changed 
our minds half a dozen times 
but there's no need to apologize
or forgive the wild swings of desire.
After all, isn't this our practice?
Tasting, arranging, revising, 
paring away then calling out Wait, 
bring back the menu? We want it all,

including a world wide enough
for our hungers. We want the longaniza 
and egg rice bowl, but miss the tart
bite of atsara that should be on the side,
and so we'll ask politely for vinegar and
garlic. There are some people who fold
at Take it or leave it, as if the self  
is an exact system. But we know this is it  
each time. There's no rehearsal, no understudy 
waiting in the wings. So we come as we are, 
with all our mess and improvising, bearing 
everything we carry to the table. Lint and loose 
change in our pockets, maybe not even quite  
enough to feed the meter, but right now it's OK.