Swoon’s fourth video for my Manual series takes a different tack. “No more bacon,” as he puts it in his blog post, “but peace, contemplation and coffee.” In an email, he explained the associations of coffee for Belgians in this context:
We have a thing called ‘coffeetable’ (koffietafel), when someone is burried the family invites friends and relatives to the ‘coffeetable’ after the burial and serves them coffee and sandwiches.
I wanted to have an absurd, yet subdued, take on that fact. It needed different sounds too.
Across the chopping block, a scallion
becomes a filigree of green.
High overhead, you mostly hear
(not see) a ragged flock of geese—
but they are there, stubborn,
writing against the wind.
In May of last year, during my week in London I visited the Kew botanical gardens twice, the second time in the company of fellow blogger-photographer Rachel Rawlins. I shot more than 500 photos at Kew all told (though in retrospect I should’ve doubled that number and taken photos of the labels for each plant, too, so I’d actually be able to i.d. everything).
I shared the first part of those photos in a post here last August about the oldest of Kew’s signature glasshouses, the Palm House. Last night, I presented a slideshow on Kew to my local Audubon chapter, so in the past few days I’ve processed a bunch more photos — and now they’re uploaded to Flickr as well. You can browse the set (especially if you’re on a slower connection) or view the slideshow. (I could embed it in the post, but what’s the point? It should be viewed at full-monitor size.)
The second day I went to Kew, it was their spring festival, with stilt walkers, live world music and teeming crowds. The set begins with the Palm House, moves to the treetop walkway (with a shot of the Chinese pagoda in passing), then proceeds to the Temperate House. Then it’s back outside for a couple of live bands, a few of the more picturesque trees, and some random shots from smaller glasshouses, and we end in the newest of the “big three,” the Princess of Wales Conservatory.
Revisiting these photos, I came to a realization about what my favorite group of plants is, aesthetically speaking. The set closes with them: the cacti. Maybe I really belong in the desert.
Swing from tree limbs every day to make sure your arms stretch to the proper length.
Growing up is not only difficult, but also extremely time-consuming.
Instead of the future, day-dream about the past—the one thing your warped desires can’t destroy.
It’s true that some caterpillars turn into lovely butterflies, but many more turn into drab brown moths. Avoid metamorphosis altogether if possible.
Friends come and go but books stay with you, even in a strong wind.
Instead of going on dates, court boredom, which will never desert you.
Make friends with the invisible family who lives upside-down on your ceiling.
Have somebody record your height on a door with a pencil every year. If the marks start to go lower rather than higher, this could indicate that instead of growing up, you are growing old.
Avoid anything that prevents a good night’s sleep. Prizes, for example, are for livestock.
Remember: you can keep learning all your life, but you’ll never again be able to skip school.
Experiment with different personalities.
Don’t be over-clever or let yourself be fired out of a cannon.
Feeling hungry? Try eating!
When I was your age, I was young.
If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff too? Why not? Don’t you like your friends?
Playing video games imparts a valuable life skill: how to hold your pee.
Watch movies rated for mature audiences. These are usually the most juvenile.
If you dream of a career in politics, learn to do magic tricks.
Hypnotizing chickens is not merely a fun stunt—it also makes them tractable prior to execution.
Go to school with blood on your shirt. Say it’s your name in Chickenscratch.
