Big Buddha

Buddha is bigger than you. His scalp is great with child, & his patriarchal breasts bulge with dharma-milk. His arms multiply exponentially like the mother of all Swiss Army knives, & he juggles odd objects: fly whisks, vajras, capacitors, USB flash drives. The Buddha is bigger than you, and easier on my wallet. I found him at the landfill & brought him home & placed him on top of the television, & he’s been growing ever since. Now I can tune in the weather from Colombo and Phnom Penh. The Buddha is bigger than you, & whenever he touches the earth with the tip of the middle finger of his right hand, shit happens. Under those rust-green robes, he’s got an Elvis tattoo — don’t ask me how I know this — & the balls of a brass monkey. Like the number zero, he is both real & imaginary. Ask him anything! He rings when struck.

Prompted by (but not based upon) Katherine Durham Oldmixon’s short film “Daibutsu” at qarrtsiluni.

6 Comments


  1. Glad you liked it, Dale. I didn’t think you’d take offense, but I wasn’t sure.

    Reply

  2. Love it!

    I saw a Buddha once whose foot alone was bigger than the both of us. :)

    Reply

  3. Thanks for the comments.

    I saw a Buddha once whose foot alone was bigger than the both of us.

    So did the Taliban. Scared them shitless, I guess.

    I found that not even was he bigger than all of us, he’s evidently more.

    Buddha is infinitely replicable, like a virus.

    Reply

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