Page iv, Acknowledgements: For “All the lovely ladies at Square Peg’s Round Hole in Crested Butte, Colorado” read “Carla, without whom none of this would matter”
Page 2, line 34: For “incessant screaming” read “frequent, energetic vocalization”
Page 8, line 3: For “heavily sedated” read “diagnosed with ADHD”
Page 14, line 11: For “Napalm Death” read “Bruce Springsteen”
Page 18, line 56: For “used” read “experimented with”
Page 23, line 5: For “two six-packs and a defective condom” read “a full moon”
Page 27, line 42: For “severe depression” read “the blues”
Page 31, line 10: For “anger management classes” read “continuing education”
Page 34, line 61: For “Harley-Davidson” read “second mortgage”
Page 36, line 4: For “restraining order” read “separation”
Page 36, line 22: For “social services” read “relatives”
Page 42, line 51: For “drug mule” read “adventure tourist”
Page 43, line 14: For “prison” read “group therapy”
Page 49, line 1: For “hair implants” read “Promise Keepers retreat”
Page 51, line 34: For “heart attack” read “wake-up call from Jesus”
Page 55, line 35: For “a lonely female professional with low self-esteem” read “the new love of my life”
Page 57, line 70: For “layoffs” read “voluntary redundancy program”
Page 62, line19: For “harassment” read “witnessing to my faith”
Page 66, line 27: For “stoned” read “self-actualized”
Page 73, line 8: For “relatives” read “elder care facility”
Throughout: Replace dashes with semicolons

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Dave Bonta (bio) crowd-sources his problems by following his gut, which he shares with 100 trillion of his closest microbial friends — a close-knit, symbiotic community comprising several thousand species of bacteria, fungi, and protozoa. In a similarly collaborative fashion, all of Dave’s writing is available for reuse and creative remix under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 United States License. For attribution in printed material, his name (Dave Bonta) will suffice, but for web use, please link back to the original. Contact him for permission to waive the “share alike” provision (e.g. for use in a conventionally copyrighted work).


  1. We live in euphemistic times. Possibly you could ask for a generous emolument as a consultant in the field.


    1. You mean public relations? Nah. Poetry’s where all the money is. :)


  2. Absolutely brilliant. I wish I’d thought of it first! You know how much I love errata (I often indulge in autoerratics).

    But my execution wouldn’t have been so inspired. Nicely nicely struck.

    By the way, there’s some sort of ancient Mexican rite of spring (humongous feather headdresses, whips, masks, dances) going on just outside my window. From what I could gather, it’s a tradition stretching back to the Spanish Conquest. You’d enjoy it greatly, I suspect.


    1. I wish I could say it was an original idea, but alas, the only originality here was in the execution. I stole the idea of Errata as an independent creative work from Charles Simic — Dismantling the Silence, I believe. I tried to make mine as different as possible from his, but still — I can’t take credit. So feel free to try your own variation on the theme.

      If the Mexicans under your window start brandishing obsidian knives, be afraid.


  3. Kia ora Dave,
    Love this, a great way to start my Sunday morning.


    1. Hey, glad to hear you enjoyed it, Robb. Thanks for stopping by.


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