Throw a whole stick of butter into any sauce; it will taste just like the dishes in a rich woman's house. If even a single hair falls from your head into the stew, empty the whole pot in the trash and start over. In some citiies (some), it's a compliment when men pinch the bottoms of women walking in the street. Kissing? The sensation's just like when you eat freshwater snails cooked in tamarind pulp. A little bile in the soup makes you strong. If you're able to take singing lessons, learn a repertoire of sad melodies in a modest mezzo-soprano key, ending with words like farewell or last song. Finish your studies. Sex and marriage later. When you have a big fight with your husband, threaten to leave; then order everyone else not to reveal your hiding place in the laundry room closet. You can make up names for things you've forgotten the correct term for, or don't know. For instance, proclaim the pale connective tissue between your bones and in your ears and nose is culidon. When ghosts come back to haunt you, especially in-law ghosts, remind them they're dead; burn all their clothes and throw away the chamberpot. A kettle of boiling water is as good a weapon as words, or even better.
Purveyors of fine poetry since 2003.