Vagina Dialogue

This entry is part 23 of 29 in the series Conversari


A college roommate once confessed
he fantasized about growing a vagina
on his shoulder: It would be

so handy, right there
whenever he needed to whisper
in its big wet ear.

John loved redheads & disliked feminists.
One woman informed me
he had “bedroom eyes.”

Where would the uterus go? I asked.
He laughed. It wouldn’t need one—
it would have me.

What about the pillow talk?
It would sing me to sleep, he said,
with its pulse of surf.


See Rachel’s photographic response, “Salty.”

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Dave Bonta (bio) crowd-sources his problems by following his gut, which he shares with 100 trillion of his closest microbial friends — a close-knit, symbiotic community comprising several thousand species of bacteria, fungi, and protozoa. In a similarly collaborative fashion, all of Dave’s writing is available for reuse and creative remix under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 United States License. For attribution in printed material, his name (Dave Bonta) will suffice, but for web use, please link back to the original. Contact him for permission to waive the “share alike” provision (e.g. for use in a conventionally copyrighted work).


  1. I once visualized boasting two more penises like female breasts, you know — for the women.


  2. dave, i love this! and not just b/c it mentions redheads :) but b/c it is both fantastical and conversational at once. pretty cool.


    1. Hi Carolee – Glad you liked this! John was the first guy I ever knew who specialized in redheads. I of course thought he was crazy. Chalk it up to youthful ignorance, I guess. :)


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