Stop searching. Only pre-existing itches should be scratched.
Pull the petals from a daisy, then use tweezers to remove the yellow florets in its eye.
This is the way to perfect your own seeing.
Court sleep as if it were a lover.
When you dream of being chased, stop fleeing—let yourself be caught, killed and dismembered.
Your dreams will be so much better with a new protagonist!
Call your own phone number and say, Who’s this?
Have a notary’s signature tattooed above your genitals.
If you’re claustrophobic, team up with an agorophobic and make love from a safe distance.
(Love-making is dangerous: you can discover too many things at once.)
However quickly you’re going, go faster still.
Give each of your possessions a pet name and a safe word.
Work. Do somebody else’s bidding for 50 years.
Vacate. Watch a log burning in a fireplace on cable TV.
If you want to find God, sin flagrantly to invite divine retribution.
If you want to follow your gut, you must first acquire a gut.
Close your mind and open your mouth to every sweetness.
You are a child of the universe. Stuff yourself until you resemble a minor asteriod.
Each borborygmus is a message from the other world.