Learn to love silence and the taste of water.
Let birds nest in your best suit.
Live at home.
Change your mind often to prevent wear.
When called upon to speak, let words escape you: ululate.
Weep at weddings, dance at funerals, sleep-walk in parades.
Peg your moods to the weather.
Keep careful records of the shapes of clouds.
Burrow like a star-nosed mole into the task at hand: blindly, guided by an extinguished light.
Give yourself up like a river in flood.
Whatever you accomplish, make it look as if it happened on its own.
Form a committee for the reinvention of the wheel.
If you’re boring enough, even death may forget about you.
Erase your tracks with a worn-down broom.